


Cross Country

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad guys were not always easy to point out; deception and disguise were getting better and better.  Good people, Tucker could usually scope them out a mile away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cross Country

**Author's Note:**

> This is a remix of a Criminal Minds fic I wrote years ago that was Hotch/Prentiss. The plot and parameters fit Tuckson to a tee so I edited it and here we are. Also, I don’t think David Haden is a sociopath but Harry Connick, Jr. has played one with such aplomb that the choice was really already made. Serena Benson is also alive in this fic because the main character needed a mother for it to work. There is physical violence against a woman portrayed in this story and domestic abuse in an intimate relationship. It is not gratuitous and serves the plot though could still be a trigger for some readers.

She felt like a target but what else was new. On the run for almost three weeks, she didn’t know how much longer she could do this. She wasn’t an action hero, she was a former cop turned victim advocate. Pacing back and forth across the cheap motel carpet, Olivia Benson jumped when she heard the light tap on the door. _Please God, be who I think you are_. She crept over to the peephole, looked out, and breathed a sigh. She quickly opened the door, pulling Elizabeth Donnelly in.

“Were you followed?” she asked breathlessly.

“No, at least I don’t think so. I have been in this business a long time, sweetie. He couldn’t put a tail on me I wouldn’t recognize. He’s small time.”

“Oh Aunt Liz, I wish that were true.” Olivia walked further into the dimly lit room. As she lit a clove, she looked at the sleeping child on the bed. “This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.”

“He will be safer.”

“How do you know? I'm going to worry about him, every second of every day. You and Dodds are going to be in danger as well. Please do not underestimate his father. He is desperate right now.”

“We’re going out of the country,” Liz replied. “No one will ever miss two near retirees, no matter how powerful they may be. I have secured a passport for Noah.”

“Where?”

“I would prefer you not know right now. That way that bastard will never find out. Sweetie, I have to get back on the road.”

Olivia nodded, snuffing out the cigarette. She moved over to the bed and picked up the toddler. He grumbled a bit, snuggling close to his mother’s breast. She stifled her tears as she kissed his raven hair.

“Mommy loves you baby. I love you so much; that is why I'm doing this.” She handed him to Liz. “Please take care of him.”

“You know that I will. I’m taking care of you too. There are two men outside who will level the playing field a bit.”

“What? I told you Aunt Liz, no police; especially the Feds. They don’t have my best interest at heart. I just need to disappear and then I can get Noah back.”

“You have been on the run for almost a month.” Liz said in that Liz voice. She needed to have it patented. “The only way that son of a bitch wants you to disappear is to die. I will be damned if I let that happen. I'm not asking anymore, I am telling you Olivia. You're doing everything you can to protect Noah, how do you think I feel as your parent?”

“Alright,” she held up her hands. “I don’t have time to argue but surely you knew that.” She hugged her godmother, who had practically raised her, kissing her and her son. Elizabeth Donnelly slipped her a disposal cell and an envelope.

“Do not turn this phone on unless it’s a serious emergency. And this is $5,000; it’s a start for now.”

“But the Feds…”

“These guys are not the Feds; they're a little off the board.”

“What is going on, Aunt Liz?”

“You will live and that’s all that matters to me. I love you with my whole heart. Call me when you can.”

She nodded, watching her go to the door. She opened it, walked away, and two men came in. One was black, dressed in army green khakis, hiking boots, and a grey long sleeved tee shirt. His partner, white, dressed more like a funeral director…black suit, shiny black shoes, and a maroon tie. They looked at her and she looked back.

“We’ll give Judge Donnelly a thirty minute head start and then get the fuck out of New Jersey.” The black guy said.

“I would at least like to know your names before you start bossing me around. Forgive me but after seven years I am a little tired of being bossed around.”

“I'm Captain Edward Tucker; my partner is Sergeant Cole Draper.” The white guy spoke up.

“Credentials please.” They showed their badges and Olivia took a good look at them. They were NYPD, if the shields were to be believed, though they looked different than any she'd seen before. She wasn’t testifying against David; she didn’t know anything. This was personal. “Alright. I need to gather…”

“Everything stays behind.” Tucker said.

“What? No!”

“If we do this…”

“I didn’t ask for this. I am not leaving the few treasured possessions I have left in some shitty hotel room in New Brunswick.”

“The baggage is just that lady,” Draper replied. “Baggage.”

“Fuck you.” Liv grabbed her backpack, flung open her suitcase, and transferred the essentials. There were things she would never leave, to hell with the NYPD. If that’s even who they were. She was in the NYPD for years and never saw guys like them with badges like that.

“Whatever fits in the backpack.” Tucker said, sighing. “No over packing; we need to be as light as possible.”

“We are breaking protocol.” Draper whispered. “This will surely come back to bite us in the ass.”

“Probably, but she didn’t ask for this. We can't ask her to leave everything behind, Cole…she just lost her son.”

Draper was unimpressed. When she was done, Liv put the backpack on. She slipped the phone in her jeans pocket and grabbed the box of cloves.

“A half hour is surely up,” she said. “Let’s go.”

***

She could not believe that she had actually fallen asleep. She had been living off catnaps here and there for about two weeks. Liv dealt with the double-edged sword of needing to stay awake and alert but knowing lack of sleep made her sluggish and slow to react. Even in the safety of the large SUV with the “cops”, she still fought as hard as she could against the pull of bad dreams.

“What time is it?” she mumbled.

“Almost 6am,” Tucker said. “The sun is nearly up.”

“I'm really hungry, I need to pee, and I want a cigarette.”

“We are not going to stop every couple of hours for your addiction.” Draper informed her.

“Please tell me what crawled up your ass and died. Really, I want to know.”

“There is a rest stop about 35 miles away.” Tucker jumped in. “We’ll stop, regroup, and get back on the road. Though I have to agree with my partner…cigarette breaks slow us down.”

“Forgive me if I am a tiny bit stressed.” Liv replied sarcastically. 

She sat back in the seat, folding her arms. Her blood pressure was surely through the roof. There were enough things to worry about, like getting her brains blown out. If Thunderbolt and Lightfoot were going to be more trouble than they were worth, she was ditching them at the next stop. She could catch a ride with a trucker, take her chances, and maybe get halfway across the country. 

If she had to she would rather end up dead in a ditch than sliced up in little pieces and dumped in the East River. Liv shivered. Never in her life, even as a cop, had she spent this much time thinking about the different means of murder and body disposal. Surviving all she had, how was she going to survive this?

“Can we make a deal?” Olivia asked aloud.

“What did you have in mind?” Tucker asked.

“That we do our best to get along. I don't know who you are or what the plan is but my godmother seems to trust you and I trust her. I will not make life hell for you but you will respect me and tell me what's going on. I am not some insipid gangster moll…I am well aware of what's happening. 

“The Feds are not the only ones looking for me. I have done OK on my own so far; I'm a resourceful woman. I think the three of us could work well together. If you try to play two against one, you will wish you never met me.”

“That doesn’t sound like a deal,” Draper replied. “It sounds like an ultimatum.”

“Semantics.” Liv said. “Can we all agree?”

“I think that can be done.” Tucker said.

“Thank you, Captain Tucker.”

“Everybody usually calls me Ed.”

“I'm Liv.” She almost smiled. This was not a happy introduction but she was raised right for the most part.

“Nobody calls you Ed, and I'm still Draper. In the interest of full disclosure, you know since we are all getting chummy, why don’t you give us your side of this story? Everyone seems to have an opinion about what's happening.”

“It’s a long story.”

“We got nothing but time.” Draper said.

“Unfortunately I don’t know if I can say the same.”

“You are safe with us.” Ed told her. “That is not a question. I wouldn’t expect you to let go and relax but you can be sure no one is going to hurt you.”

“I can't be sure of anything, except that I'm probably going to piss my pants. I should have gone before we left.”

“Yeah,” Draper murmured.

Liv made a face at him and Ed watched her through the rearview. He grinned to himself.

***

Tucker was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom. They were at a gas station and Circle K near the border of Pennsylvania and Ohio. Liv lit a clove, loved the feeling of the smoke in her bloodstream. She wanted to stretch her legs outside of the SUV so Ed “stretched” with her. He lit a cigarette himself. It was a dirty habit he’d gone back to recently.

“I'm not going to make a break for it, Captain Tucker.” 

“Alright.” He leaned on the SUV. If she did, Ed would catch her and tackle her. She didn’t need to know that. She probably already knew that.

“I thought about it, believe me. I graduated summa cum laude from Siena College and have a Master’s degree from John Jay. I married a man my mother actually approved of; I could not even begin to explain to you how difficult that was. I work for Women in Transition and shop at Whole Foods. Shit like this does not happen to people like me.”

“Shit like this doesn’t give a damn about Master’s degrees and Whole Foods. It just has to stick to something.”

“Tell me about it. I may not have signed on for this but I will not let it have me. I've got too much to lose.”

“I'm really sorry you had to leave your son.” Ed said.

“Do you have children, Captain Tucker?” Liv asked, looking at him.

“Three; they're a lot older than Noah.”

“You're married?”

“I'm divorced.”

“Lucky you,” she laughed but it was mirthless. “We go in thinking it’ll be everything we dreamed of and more. I let go of so many dreams so long ago but not that one. It was my downfall.”

“There are loopholes for spouses testifying for the prosecution.”

“I probably know more than you think, including the law. Liz Donnelly and William Dodds practically raised me and I used to be a cop. I know how it goes.”

“Then why don’t you just do it? They can protect you.”

“Who, Sonya Paxton? She doesn’t give a damn about anything but winning a case, getting a commendation, and then running for Governor. She surely doesn’t care that she’s destroying people. She’s no better than those she claims to fight against. Anyway,” Liv shrugged, plucking her clove. “I don’t know anything. Not that Paxton cares…she’s willing to put my head on the guillotine. I’m expendable. All I can figure is she doesn’t have enough to make whatever she wants to stick, stick.”

“If you don’t know anything then why are you running?” Ed asked.

“It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

Cole walked back to the SUV. He carried a plastic bag in one hand and a coffee cup holder in the other. “C'mon, let’s go.” 

“Oh thank God, coffee.” Olivia grabbed a cup.

“What took you so long?” Tucker asked.

“I made sure everyone got a good look at me, and I asked for directions. Two different clerks; two different destinations.” He held out a baseball cap. “Put this on, Olivia.”

She thought about arguing but decided against it. A trucker hat wasn’t exactly the height of fashion. It was John Deere too…nice touch.

“They’ll come looking…” Ed said.

“They’ll have pictures; want to know where we’re headed.” Cole finished.

“Where are we headed?”

“Montreal and Austin. Gimme the keys.”

“I'm driving.”

“Riding shotgun is killing me. I'm driving.”

“I don’t want to ride shotgun.” Tucker reasoned.

“Then get in the back,” Draper countered. “I'm driving.”

“Don’t be a smartass. I'm driving.”

“Hey, Riggs and Murtaugh!” Liv snapped her finger. “Let’s hope the bad guys don’t shoot me between the eyes while you two are duking it out for supreme alpha male status. Give him the damn keys, Tucker.”

Rolling his eyes, Ed handed over the keys. Cole grinned and got into the driver’s seat. Olivia got in the back; Tucker on the passenger side.

“Where are we going anyway?” She asked as they got back on the road. “I now know it’s not Texas or Canada.”

“A safe house.” Ed replied.

“Where?”

“Let’s just say nowhere.”

“I don’t like being in the dark.”

“Let’s call it even,” Draper said. “We are in the dark too. It’s not fun, is it? I'm not particularly happy.”

“I could say so many things to you, Sergeant Draper, but I won't bother.”

“I appreciate it.”

“You guys are definitely not NYPD. I know NYPD and this is not it.”

“Not all cops and prosecutors are like Sonya Paxton.” Ed said.

“Shit, I should have known the Wicked Witch of the West was involved in this.” Draper said, rolling his eyes. “How did I miss that memo?”

“You’ve had the pleasure?” Olivia asked.

“There is more pleasure with a kick in the nuts.” Draper replied.

“Wow boys…I think we found the first thing we agree on.”

***

“We have company.” Draper said, carefully glancing at his driver’s side mirror.

“Grey four door sedan,” Ed replied. “Two passengers…possibly three.”

“Mmm hmm. It’s been with us about twenty minutes.”

“It could be the local pastor and his wife. I do not want to draw attention to ourselves by waving guns in their faces.”

“It’s a two-lane road with little traffic,” Cole pulled his Glock from his ankle though his eyes never left the road. “Surely, Reverend Camden and his wife would’ve gone around us by now.”

“There is that. What's the plan?”

“What's going on?” Liv asked.

“Just be prepared to hit the floor.” Draper said. “We may have trouble.”

“Just say when.” She said.

“I'm going to suddenly slam on the brakes. If they go around me and give me the finger, they’re locals.”

“If not?” Ed asked, pulling his gun from his shoulder holster.

“Then it’s yippee ky-yay motherfucker.”

“You seem too excited about this.” Liv said.

“If they want trouble, they just came across the right guys.”

“That’s the…shit!”

“What, Tucker?” Draper asked.

“I got a blue car coming up on my side, high rate of speed.”

“They're going to cut us off…”

“Box us in,” Ed turned around. “Get down flat on your stomach, Olivia, and don’t move.”

She was certainly not going to argue. Her heart was pounding so fast Olivia was sure it was about to leap out of her chest.

“Hit the brakes on three. 1, 2…”

Draper slammed on the brakes, thrown forward from the force. The blue car was still moving and seemed slightly confused. Tucker watched the grey car roll down its window. He accelerated for a moment, making a hard U-turn as tires squealed and rubber burned. The gunshots were next.

“Stay down Olivia!” Draper exclaimed.

He didn’t have to tell her twice. They didn’t sound like semi-automatic weapons but still rapid fire. She hoped she didn’t have to die out here on some non-descript road. Liv didn’t even know what state she was in. They had been driving for hours. 

Tucker threw the front seat down, crawling into the back. He put down the window, once again growling for her to stay down. He leaned out the window and started shooting at the grey car. There was a man hanging out of the passenger window.

“I think I took him out.” Ed shouted.

“Don’t think, Tucker, know.”

The car shook as the blue car slammed into the side of it.

“Shit!” Draper exclaimed. He rolled his window down, shooting out while still holding the wheel.

“There is a turn off coming, Cole! Turn off!”

“It could be a dead end.”

“I don’t care...we’ll take all of them if we have to.” Tucker ducked from flying bullets and debris. “Turn off, Cole!”

The SUV swerved as it turned onto the gravel road. Draper pressed on the gas pedal while Tucker reached into a black bag in the trunk. He grabbed handfuls of something and threw them out the window. There was a small bit of guilt for all those locals who would lose tires to the tiny Chinese stars but he could not worry about that right now.

“Are they behind us?” Draper asked.

“No, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t coming. I'm sure I got the one hanging out of the sedan.”

“I blew at least one tire on the blue car. We have to get to the highway, Tucker. Isolated back roads aren’t the best idea right now. Doubtful they will start a shootout on I-80…this isn’t a Schwarzenegger film.”

“That’s a good idea. I'm thinking we need to call it a day soon. We can regroup and assess.”

“We’ll get on the interstate. The further west we go the more light and time we’ll gain.”

“True,” Ed put his hand on Liv’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I think so.” She mumbled.

“You can get up now; I think we shook them.”

“For the time being.” Draper added.

Liv nodded, sitting back on the seat. Ed studied her closely and she held up to the intense gaze of his blue eyes.

“You want to tell us now how many people might be after you?” he asked.

“I don't know. My husband doesn’t like to lose, Captain Tucker.”

“Is he willing to kill you?” Draper asked.

“I think that little adventure just answered your question.” Liv replied.

“If you don’t know anything then why all of this?” Ed asked.

“Sport. My husband loves hunting.”

Tucker didn’t like that answer. Firstly, it was a disgusting thought. Secondly, it wasn’t the whole truth. This mission was obviously dangerous and that didn’t bother him so much…lots of missions were. He just didn’t have any intent on putting his life on the line for someone who was just as corrupt as the people he was protecting her from. He needed to get to the bottom of Olivia Benson.

***

“Oh captain, my captain, it’s been two days and you are not allowed to worry me like this again. Please tell me that you're alright. All I could imagine was your being held hostage and forced to spill government secrets.”

“You have an overactive imagination, Carmen…and I don’t know any secrets.” Ed said.

“Tell that to someone who doesn’t know you. Are you alright; is Draper alright?”

“We’re fine, just a little under the radar right now. I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

Ed could hear the click of her computer keys and knew she was opening the vaults on anything he could ever dream of asking.

“Get me every bit of information you can on David Haden and Olivia Benson. I want every traffic ticket and grocery receipt, Carmen. Benson said she works for Women in Transition and used to be a cop so I assume she has a personnel file, but I need more. Get me whatever you can on her during her years on the force though.”

“You got it. Anything else?”

“This is a little riskier…your hands will get dirty.” Tucker said.

“You know how I love to get dirty, boss.”

Ed smirked. He studied the couple walking through the small parking lot toward the diner where his partner and the protectee were eating dinner. For right now, almost everyone was the enemy. These people, clearly in their 80s, could be well trained assassins. One never knew.

“Sonya Paxton has a case…”

“The People versus David Haden.”

“How did you…?”

“As if Norma Desmond ever misses an opportunity for her close-up. She is hoping this case floats her right to the Governor’s office. Barba thinks she's aiming for the Senate but I don’t agree.”

“Get me everything on that case; on and off the record. Watch your back.”

“You guys are way off the radar, aren’t you?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah.”

“I hate that,” her tone turned somber. “I don’t like it when I don’t hear from you.”

“It'll be soon, I promise. Dodds knows what's happening and he won't let you worry. Send all the information to my tablet.”

“You'll have everything within the hour.”

“I owe you one.” Ed said.

“The only thanks I need is for you and papa bear to get back here safely when this is all over.”

“You got it. Bye.”

Ed turned off his phone and walked into the diner. He was immediately assaulted by 80s Rod Stewart, which made him cringe. Sliding into the booth next to Olivia, he asked the waitress for a cup of coffee and a slice of pecan pie. Draper was finishing a cheeseburger while Olivia seemed to just stare at her meatloaf.

“Is Carmen alright?” Draper asked. All of them had worked together for almost a decade. He really looked at her like a daughter. It wasn’t often that young computer geniuses with extensive knowledge of Constitutional Law crossed his path.

“Yeah,” Ed nodded. “We’ll have everything we need in an hour or so.”

“We need to ditch the SUV and get another ride.”

“I know. There’s a motel a few miles up the road. We’ll stay the night; do a rent and dump in the morning. Cole, I've been thinking it might be beneficial to drive to Chicago and get the train.”

“We’ll do what we have to.” He said. “The faster we get to our destination, the faster we get the upper hand. I don’t like being out in the open.”

“I don’t like the idea of being confined to a moving locomotive.” Olivia said. “Don’t I get a say?”

“As a matter of fact, you don’t.” Draper told her. “Priority number one is to deliver you safely. The how is not important, only that we do.”

“Deliver me where and to whom? Oh dear God, what have I gotten myself into?” she ran her hands over her face. “Who the hell are you guys? Who do you work for and where are we going? I swear if I don’t get some answers I am out of here. I would do better using my own wits than to put my life in the hands of two guys I don’t even know.”

“Do you think you would still be alive if we weren’t on the up and up?” Draper asked. “Those guys back there did not want to sip champagne and discuss the state of the economy. They had their orders and Tucker and I have ours. You’re as safe as you can be with us.”

“I don’t feel safe. In fact, I can't stop shaking.”

“It'll pass. Actually, it’s typical that…” Ed said.

“Look, I've done time in the trenches; I've been shot at and worse. I am not a shrinking violet, Captain Tucker. If you thought so, you were wrong.”

“I don’t know anything about you; I don’t think anything.”

“I need to use the ladies room,” Olivia stood. “Excuse me please.”

Ed stood and let her go. Cole looked after her while his partner cut into his pie.

“She could bolt.” He said.

“I'm not chasing her. If we’re going to get anywhere then we need to get that chip off her shoulder.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Carmen is digging up everything on her and David Haden. This has got to be about more than testimony despite him being a big hoo-hah at Homeland Security.”

“Sonya Paxton can be cruel and relentless.” Cole said. “Olivia may think she has no choice but to run.”

“She said she used to be a cop, Cole, I don’t think much scares her. Also, I doubt Paxton sent the assassins. If her marriage was strong, Olivia would be standing with her husband on TV wearing that Master’s degree smile. I think he scares her much more than Paxton ever could.”

“Well he damn sure doesn’t scare me. Why did Benson _used to be_ a cop? She doesn’t look retirement age to me.”

“Carmen is on that too. Haden wants his wife dead for something.”

Draper nodded, flagging the waitress for another glass of iced tea. This was supposed to be a four or five day trip, a couple of back roads, and depositing Olivia Benson at a safe house. After that he would be back in the real world chasing the usual idiots. He didn’t like being half-blind as to what they were up against. He didn’t like doing favors for Dodds, who was doing favors for someone Draper didn’t even know. The NYPD protecting someone from the Feds…yeah, that didn’t make much sense.

“You need to get her to open up.” He told Tucker.

“How do you figure I do that?”

“I don’t know. You always play the good cop in the interrogation room. Except when you play the very bad cop. You're great with the Dr. Phil type shit.”

“I think that’s an insult.”

“It’s not.” Cole tried to contain his grin but he couldn’t. “People do open up to you.”

“Begrudgingly. Dodds is the one who makes everyone feel comfortable; puts his arm around you like you just solved world peace or something. I don’t think we’re going to get anything out of Olivia Benson but a combination of cooperation and contempt. She knows she needs us but she hates that she does.”

“See, you're better at it than you think.”

“Shut up.”

“She’s been gone for a while.” Cole looked back toward the bathroom.

“Give her time. She finally knows it’s true and it’s all sinking in.”

“What? That her husband will kill her?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so, Ed. If he takes her out on some desolate gravel road then he will never get his son back. You have a son; put yourself in his place for a moment.”

Tucker was quiet for a while. The pie was delicious but the thoughts running through his mind didn’t even allow him time to savor it.

“He kills us, grabs her, takes her back to New York, and finds out where she is hiding Noah. Then he kills her.”

“Surely with the requisite amount of rape and torture thrown in for his shits and giggles.”

“Damn. Whatever we do we have to stay one step ahead of this son of a bitch.” he muttered.

Draper nodded. Olivia finally made her way back from the bathroom. Ed stood again.

“Can we go outside?” she asked. “I need some air and a cigarette.”

“Sure. Will you take care of the check, Cole?”

“Yeah. You want some pie to go?”

Ed nodded as he escorted Olivia outside.

***

She stood under the large shower head with water that was almost too hot to bear, and sobbed. It had been a while since she had a decent shower; Liv didn’t want to be in a position where she couldn’t hear what was happening around her. She also was afraid to take her eyes off her son. He was gone now…they were separated for the first time in his life. Liv tried to calm the fear that she would never see him again, but the more she thought about it, the more she sobbed.

What had she been thinking? A life on the run was nearly impossible. As long as there was breath in his body, David would never stop hunting for his son. She would spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder. There would never be peace or security. Liv would be forced to move to some tiny town in a country that wasn’t even on the map. Yet there was no guarantee he wouldn’t find her. Her family would always be in danger; David would only let her godmother’s influence pacify him for so long.

His desperation would be dangerous to everyone in his wake. Noah would be sheltered, paranoid, and a shell of the boy he could grow into being. She could not call herself a loving mother and resign him to that life. Not that a life under the thumb of his father with his mother dead and gone would be any better. There would be no middle ground with David…it was all or nothing. Even if Liv “won” surely she would lose.

Going back was not an option. The wheels were already turning, but she had to regain some control. Noah was safe; she trusted her godmother with her little boy’s life. Now it was time to see this through. As clichéd as it sounded, the world was not big enough for the both of them to live peaceably in it.

Turning off the water and taking deep breaths, Liv got out of the shower. She dried herself and stood naked in front of the mirror. Wiping the steam off, Liv looked hard at herself. She grabbed the heavy scissors, a piece of her hair, and cut. It didn’t matter anymore…she was not the same woman. It was David who wanted her hair long and flowing, feminine. Olivia Benson-Haden, no Olivia Benson. She wasn’t that other woman anymore and though she didn’t know exactly who this woman was, she would by the end of this journey.

Liv moisturized her skin and then threw on a pair of blue vinyl sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a pair of athletic socks. After dinner, Tucker and Draper took her to Wal-Mart. It was not exactly her style but she was not a label whore like some of her friends. They wanted her to get clothes and provisions, nothing more than could fit in a small duffle bag. Two pairs of Wrangler jeans and two pairs of sweats would be good. She grabbed some graphic tees and a hoodie in case the weather got chilly at night.

She needed underwear, socks, and toiletries. When they weren’t looking, Liv picked up a hunting knife as well. Draper told her she would need hiking boots and a pair of sturdy sneakers with good ankle support. She bought everything they told her without question. 

She added a bag of Oreos, energy bars, granola bars, and vitamins. She knew it seemed silly being on the run to be thinking of A to zinc, but keeping alert and healthy was important now more than ever. At the register, Tucker tried to pay with a credit card but Liv declined. The government, and their money, was something she did not want to be a part of. Her own cash was good enough for her.

She finally made her way back into the bedroom of the motel room they rented. She was surprised to see Ed sitting alone. His jacket and tie were off, shirt sleeves rolled up. He still wore his shoulder holster and his spiffy shoes.

“Where is Sergeant Draper?” she asked.

“What happened to your hair?” Ed asked. He had been concentrating on his tablet but her voice made him look up. She had been in the bathroom for a while. He was about to knock to make sure she was OK.

“I needed a change.” She sat Indian style on the bed, holding out the Oreos towards him.

“No thank you. That’s definitely a change.”

“Where’s Sergeant Draper?” she repeated.

“He’s outside. We both decided it was a good idea if one of us watches the road. He will be back in about four hours and I will relieve him. I don’t know how much sleep the two of us will get but rest will be good.”

“Sleep is important.” Liv replied.

“Getting to our destination is as well. Coffee and Red Bull will be our friend.”

“I think you should tell me where we’re going.”

Tucker looked at her. Maybe if he gave her a little, she would reciprocate. He couldn’t pretend to know Olivia Benson and honestly didn’t have the time to profile her. He would run on instinct; it had been good to him so far.

“Montana. There is a safe house in the middle of nowhere. I'm surprised you don’t know it, your godfather, if that’s who Bill Dodds is to you, owns the place. That is really all I can tell you. Please don’t ask for anything more; not knowing is safer.”

“William Dodds, that’s how I always thought of him, is my Aunt Liz’s partner. But he's been that since forever. They didn’t want to be held down by convention after bad first marriages…and I can't blame them. I guess I thought of him as an Uncle, since I've thought of her as an Aunt.”

“OK.” Ed nodded. That information meant nothing to him but it was the most she said since they were somewhere in Pennsylvania.

“Are you really in the NYPD?” Olivia asked.

“Yes,” Tucker nodded. “As I said, not all cops and prosecutors are like Sonya Paxton. Were you in the NYPD?”

She nodded but didn’t say anything else. She just ate her cookies, tried to think of anything other than the fact that she was marooned at some cheap motel outside of Indianapolis.

“Olivia?”

“Hmm?”

“We need to have a conversation…its time.”

“About what?” she asked.

“Everything. I've been thinking about the many ways I could get you to open up to me but deception, in any form, is not my way. I would really like it if you just talked to me.”

Liv sipped her cold Pepsi. It didn’t exactly go with the Oreos but it would do. If she closed her eyes, she could almost believe she was back at home. That place didn’t exist anymore…perhaps it never really had. She didn’t want to do this, give her life story to a stranger. But holding it all inside had never done Olivia nay favors.

“I met David Haden in the summer of 2009. I was a cop and he was a special prosecutor. We probably shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help myself. I was intrigued from the very beginning. David was everything I wanted. 

“He was smart, attractive, soft-spoken, and settled. After being alone for so many years the thought of being with someone like him was enticing. He wasn’t over the top, didn’t flaunt his education or all the important people that he knew. He was subtle in every detail of his seduction.

“We had been dating for about two months when a case I was working on ended up taking me all the way through Eastern Europe, Western Europe, and then The Hague. I told David I didn’t expect him to wait when I didn’t know when I was coming home…I mean we hadn’t even slept together yet. He seemed to agree but asked if it was alright if he called to check on me while I was far away. He spent the entire time I was gone wooing me. Do you know what it’s like to not even be able to touch someone but to experience their passion for you?

“The last couple of months were practically unbearable; I just wanted to get home to him. I returned in the fall of 2010. He proposed, I eagerly accepted, and we were married the following March. It was perfect; David made me so happy. I worked in SVU; my job was tough and it was hard to leave it all at the office. 

“We wanted to start a family immediately but it was more difficult than either of us imagined. I wasn’t getting any younger and I always wanted to be a mom. We had some tough times trying to conceive but David was so supportive and wonderful. When we formally adopted Noah it was the happiest day of our lives. I had a great husband, an infant son, a job I loved, and a white picket fence. I should have known it was an illusion…I shouldn’t have let my guard down.

“Everything changed after Noah came. It was subtle, it always was with David. He was upset that I was returning to work so soon. He didn’t like that I worked long hours and could not be by his side for many events because our schedules conflicted. 

“We were bickering more; his temper would sometimes flare. He never lost control and I berated myself for wishing he was more understanding. I don’t like compromise, who does, and I was angry at myself for putting work ahead of my family. So I relented on a lot of things. 

“I left the NYPD, so much had happened and I had PTSD. The condition affected my relationship with my husband and my son. In hindsight all of it was a bad idea. He had control and if there is one thing David Haden never gives up its control. 

“He demanded attention, he demanded sex, and that I stay beautiful all the time…I could hardly keep up. Then there were these moments when he was my David again. It was almost like a form of Stockholm syndrome; I was a hostage in my own marriage. I thought of leaving and staying and countless other things I can hardly bear to think about.”

“What happened to convince you?” Tucker asked.

“Six months ago I found out I was pregnant.” Liv replied. “I am not a young woman, Captain, and my ovaries suck. I have no idea how it happened. My doctor informed me that more women get pregnant in perimenopause than people think. I'm not sure if I believe him. 

“I decided that I had to terminate the pregnancy. That hurt because being a mother has always been what I wanted. Things were too rocky at home, David was very tense and I did not want to bring a baby into that. My job offered me a position on a nine month project working with indigenous women and children in Manitoba. I really wanted it and with David able to work anywhere I thought maybe we could get away and start over again.

“I was not a quitter. I was not giving up on my marriage. I watched my mother suffer alone and hate me for it; I couldn’t do that to my son. I still loved David; I still loved him so much. I have no idea why but I did, and that’s on me.”

Olivia paused, taking a deep breath. She was not going to cry anymore. She was through with sniffling and sobbing. Still, she could not look in Ed’s eyes either. She didn’t know which she would despise more seeing there, contempt or pity.

“I brought the offer to him one evening and I saw his face darken. He accused me of ridiculous things, including plotting to destroy our marriage. I was trying to save it; I told him this move would be good for us. We were fighting, yelling, and I called him an ungrateful bastard. 

“He slapped me so hard with the back of his hand. I was stunned…David had never put his hands on me before. It took a few minutes for me to snap back. I went after him; he slapped me a couple of times and then punched me in the kidneys and the stomach. 

“After that, he just shoved me. I went backwards over a chair. He was coming toward me; I thought he was going to kill me. David freaked when he saw the blood coming out of my mouth. I heard him calling my name but I knew I was blacking out. I miscarried and that’s when I knew. I knew there was a man who lived beneath the surface of my husband who was quite frightening.

“After the miscarriage David was so distraught and apologetic…he was almost his old self again. Meanwhile, I was planning to run. I was switching accounts around and working things out. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I also knew he would never accept a divorce or being a part-time father to Noah. After that night I knew he was capable of killing me and I was petrified. A week before I was going to leave, Sonya Paxton showed up at my office.”

“What did she tell you?” Tucker still found himself reeling from how calm, detached really, Olivia was as she described how her husband brutalized her. 

It was almost as if it had happened to someone else. Unfortunately, he had seen his share of abused women in his time, both mentally and physically. There was no archetype…anyone could fall victim to it. How many women had she helped escape the same hell, both as a cop and in her current job?

“She sat down across from my desk, crossed her leg, and told me she was going to take down my husband. She then said that if I didn’t want to end up in federal prison beside him then I would cooperate. I had no idea what she was talking about. David works for Homeland Security now; I thought he might have been suspected of spying. Even that was ridiculous as the thought crossed my mind. But some of what she told me…I didn’t know him at all did I?”

“So you ran?”

“I didn’t think I had any other choice.” Liv said. “After everything else I had been through, if David suspected that I had been approached by federal prosecutors…I was afraid for my life. I had to protect myself and my son.”

“Why didn’t you just get on a plane and get out of the country?” Ed asked.

“I didn’t think leaving from Kennedy or LaGuardia was the best idea. It would be too easy to trace. The plan was to drive to Allentown, Pennsylvania and get an international flight out, they actually have a few. Within six hours of my disappearance David had frozen all of my assets. All I had was what was in my pocket, about $2500.”

“That could have gotten you out of the country.”

“Then what? I would have been on a foreign shore with no money…I didn’t even have credit cards. I didn’t want to involve my godmother or anyone I loved. I knew they were already in enough danger. Now everyone I care for is a target. He won't stop until he has his son back, and Sonya Paxton won't stop until she makes her bullshit federal case. She doesn’t give a damn who she destroys.”

“What about you, Olivia? When will you stop running? How will you be safe?”

“If he goes to jail, I will be safe then. I don’t care about myself; I cannot let him have my son.”

Ed didn’t know what else to say. He knew that Dodds and the Judge had taken Noah overseas. David Haden probably didn’t figure on that and was only chasing after his wife. She may not have cared about herself but he cared. Olivia Benson had been through enough and she needed peace. That was why he and Draper had been called in. Haden would not stop and Paxton didn’t have the juice to bring him down if the files Carmen sent were any indication.

His high-priced lawyer could probably get the over-hyped charges dismissed without him stepping foot in a courtroom. Who authorized this, the cop didn’t know but it would surely bring more embarrassment and bad press to the Feds. No one gave a damn what happened to his wife.

“You should probably get some sleep.” Ed said. He pulled a bottle of eye drops from his pants pocket and hydrated his contact lenses.

“Are you going to sleep?” she asked.

“I will rest, that will get me through. Don’t worry, you're safe in here. No one is getting past Draper and if they did, which they won't, they would not get past me.”

“You two really are the best, huh?” she got under the quilt. Telling that story left Olivia exhausted. It would also probably bring the night terrors back. Unfortunately, David Haden wasn’t the only monster under her bed.

“We are.” Tucker nodded.

“How long have you two been together?”

He smirked; it made them sound like an old married couple. Hell, sometimes they really were.

“Almost a decade. Let’s just say we can handle what no one else can or will. Go to sleep, Olivia…I can’t promise another quiet night.”

She nodded, actually allowing herself to drift off. She would be alright if there was never another night like this.

***

“Do you have a plan?” Liv asked, sipping her coffee. It needed more sugar but jittery wasn’t the same as awake and aware.

“We never work without one.” Ed replied.

“Are you going to share it with me?”

“That wasn’t my intent.”

“Tucker, I do not want to be in the dark where my life is concerned. I thought we all agreed to work together…no two against one.”

“Draper and I know what we’re doing. You have to understand that you cannot be privy to everything. That is not two against one; it’s for your safety. Control isn’t yours Olivia, at least not for the time being. We’re doing this to save your life.”

She leaned back in the booth, crossed her arms, and cut her eyes at him. Ed Tucker was unmoved. They were having breakfast in the same diner where they had dinner the night before. It was the first morning in too long to recall that Liv had an appetite. She knew her hearty meal of a cheese omelet, home fries, and sausage links surprised her companion. No, he wasn’t that…her captor perhaps? No, not that either. When you were neither friend nor foe, what were you?

“Where is Sergeant Draper?” she asked. “I'm so tired of asking that.”

“He went to rent a new car for the ride to Chicago.”

“You said something about a train in Chicago. Where is it taking us?”

“I know this might be difficult but you have got to stop asking so many questions.” Ed put his elbows on the table and leaned toward her. “You’re never going to trust me and I completely understand that, Olivia. Even still, your life is my number one priority right now. Its Draper’s as well. Just let us do our job. Dodds knows we’re the best…trust him.”

Olivia didn’t like it but she nodded. It wasn’t as if she didn’t trust William Dodds, he and Aunt Liz were family. Sometimes they were the only family she felt like she had. His son Mike was the closest Olivia came to having a brother. 

If Mike knew what David had done to her…Liv couldn’t even think about it. She excused herself to the ladies room and when she returned, wanted a cigarette. Ed took the bill up front and paid for the meal. They went outside, taking shelter from the spring rain under the awning. Liv lit a clove, inhaled, and exhaled slowly.

“Captain Tucker?”

“Yeah?”

He stood against the wall, arms crossed with a brooding countenance. Liv thought if he ever smiled he would be a handsome man. He was still dressed like a movie FBI agent; black suit, white dress shirt and royal blue tie. His shoes were as shiny as a military officer’s. She was usually good at reading people, excellent really, but this man…she had no clue. Something said to keep looking and something else said give it up. Olivia Benson was no quitter.

“I hope you keep the things I told you last night in confidence.” She said.

“It doesn’t work that way. Anything you tell me that is pertinent to the case has to be shared with Draper. There is no compromise on that.”

“Apparently there’s no compromise on anything.”

“We don't keep secrets from one another.” Ed replied. “Especially when it comes to protecting your life and ours.”

“Why are you treating me like I’m a suspect?” she asked. “I didn’t have to tell you anything but I did.”

“I know, and I appreciate that. The more we know, the better we help you. There are many different means to finding out what we need to know. A group of people are working on it right now in fact. I don’t mean to treat you like a suspect though. It’s a hazard of the job, I guess. I’ll try to do better from now on. 

“You just have to understand that Draper is my partner and he has been for a long time. When we finish this assignment there will be another and another after that. Without trust our relationship will crumble. I don’t intend to ever let that happen. It took us too long to get to this place.”

“I understand that.” Olivia nodded.

Though he wouldn’t say, Tucker didn’t care if she did or not. Obviously Olivia was scared and running for a reason. That didn't mean Ed believed everything she told him. In this job, almost everything was considered a lie until confirmed by Carmen or old-fashioned detective work. The computer genius was already combing medical records and running a fine-toothed comb through the marriage of Olivia Benson and David Haden. 

Someone once said that there were two sides to every story. NYPD Captain Ed Tucker knew there were at least ten. And those were the short and simple ones. There was nothing short and simple about this one at all. A Cadillac Catera pulled up in front of them. Ed’s hand moved behind him to his Glock but Cole Draper got out of the car and grinned.

“I thought you might like a luxury car.” He said to Olivia.

“I couldn’t care less as long as we get out of here. Where are we, anyway?”

He wanted to say something smart but decided against it. He was trying to give Olivia the benefit of the doubt. Yesterday would have been tough on anyone. To go from an advocate for women and families to running for your life was pretty drastic. Cole wouldn’t be friendly either if the roles were reversed. He watched Tucker hold the back door for her before he climbed into the passenger side.

“I am not listening to AC/DC the whole way to Chicago.” Ed said, strapping himself in. “Metallica either. You're like 50…how can you still listen to that constantly?”

“It keeps my head in the game, dad. I’ll be damned if I listen to The Carpenters for hours.” 

“I do not like The Carpenters.” Tucker said through clenched teeth, cutting his eyes at Draper.

“Uh huh. Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby?” he put his hand on Ed’s shoulder. “You said you'd be coming back this way again baby.”

“Shut up.”

Olivia burst into laughter and the cops both turned toward the backseat. She just laughed, holding her stomach as tears creased in her eyes. It was a graceless laugh, surely her real one, and there was something very lovely about it. It was always lovely when a woman just let go and experienced full joy.

“Damn, that’s it. Let it out, Benson.” Cole said grinning.

When the giggle fit subsided, she pulled her iPod Nano from her backpack.

“How about a little compromise, guys? It’s got something for everyone.”

Ed took it from her hands and started flipping through the song list. Tom Petty, Anita Baker, David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Journey, the Smiths…it would be better than bickering with Draper all the way to Chicago. They bickered like an old married couple in the car. It had been that way since their first assignment. Maybe Olivia wasn’t far off when she called them Riggs and Murtaugh…except they were both Murtaugh on most days.

“It’s a deal.”

Draper hooked it up before pulling out of the parking lot of Faye’s Diner. It would be about a four hour trip; a few smaller roads before hitting I-65. There would hopefully be no OK Corral type activity today. The faster they got her deposited to the safe house and got back to New York, the better. He knew something else was coming though. 

Never afraid to put his life on the line for the job or to protect the innocent, Cole still felt a rock in the pit of his stomach. This was not going to end well. He would do everything in his power to keep them all alive but sometimes the best wasn’t enough. Brushing away bad thoughts, he let the voice of Patti Scialfa relax him as he focused on the road. There was still a long way to go.

***

Tucker was outside a Dairy Queen in Thorntown, Indiana. The rain had stopped for now but it was a humid day for early May. He leaned on the Cadillac, eyes scanning the townspeople. Some stopped for gas, fast food, fuel, or to use the facilities. There also seemed to be a decent amount that had stopped to chat and gossip. Dairy Queen seemed to be the place to be in this neck of the woods. The cell phone on his hip buzzed and he answered without looking at it.

“Tucker.” A cigarette dangled from his lips like Robert Mitchum. It had taken him a long time to perfect that look.

“Hey, it’s Casey. Are you guys alright?”

“Yeah. I would tell you where we’re going but…”

“I understand. We have a problem.”

“I'm listening.” Ed squinted behind his shades as he watched Draper and Benson walk back toward the car. They would get back on the road as soon as Olivia finished filling up on hot dogs and French fries. It seemed as if she didn’t eat much while on the run with her toddler.

“The Colombians may be involved.”

“Involved in what?” Ed took the chocolate shake Draper handed him.

“The NYPD has a 24 hour tail on David Haden. Unfortunately we aren’t able to get much beyond visual contact and a tap on his house phone. He certainly doesn’t use it very much, and hardly at all for business. Yesterday afternoon he had lunch at Mercado with Cesar Silvano.”

“What happened?” Ed walked away from the car. He heard Draper tell Olivia to get in. 

“Well we don’t have audio so we don’t know what happened. All we can say is the two men are very chummy. Haden has been to Colombia multiple times and deals in the South American contingent of Homeland Security dealing with the War on Drugs. We also know that Silvano is alleged to have many an unscrupulous business partner though the Feds can never get enough on him to make it stick. If Haden asked for a favor surely Silvano would get it done.”

“The Colombians are coming after us?”

“We can only assume. I definitely wasn’t going to keep you in the dark about this development.” Casey replied. “The Colombians are not like the Italians, Ed; they will kill everyone in their wake to get the target.”

“I know.”

“You two have to be careful.”

“We already shook off some guys yesterday.” he said. “You be careful too. Paxton is on the warpath and doesn’t trust a soul. If she thinks someone is trying to infringe on her case she’ll get nasty. If she gets wind we’re harboring her “witness”…”

“It’s not going to happen. Dr. Serena Benson has had Olivia declared missing at her behest.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Paxton is looking to add a murder indictment to the list of trumped up charges she’s already collected. If she can convince a judge that David Haden harmed his wife to keep her from testifying, its federal murder. The dragon lady is beside herself with excitement. I've seen her smile at least four times in the past couple of days.”

“No doubt.” Ed smirked. “Watch your back, Novak, and do what you can to keep us informed on this missing person thing. The boy as well?”

“Yeah. It’s all over the news here…the daughter of a Columbia professor and the wife of an Undersecretary of Homeland Security is gone without a trace. She’s pretty, white, and made for the evening news. It could go international in the next few seconds. Welcome to the internet age.”

“That puts the whole operation in jeopardy.”

“That’s why I called. We better clear the line; you never know…”

“Right. Be careful.”

“You too, and Draper.”

“Yeah. See you soon.”

Tucker turned his phone off and walked back to the car. A few minutes later they were on US-52 again, heading for Lafayette and the merge onto I-65.

“Your mother has had you and Noah declared missing at the behest of Sonya Paxton.” He said looking into the rearview mirror.

“Shit,” Draper grumbled. “We’re kidnappers now.”

“Why would she do that?” Olivia asked. “What is Sonya Paxton trying to do to me?”

“I assume that your mother and godmother don’t communicate much.” Ed said.

“Under duress these days.” She crossed her arms. “It’s a long story but somewhere in there I'm sure my mother has found a way to blame me. I am so sorry about this. You didn’t sign on to be part of this insanity.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what we did.” Draper replied. “You don’t have to apologize. We have to get you to the safe house as fast as possible. There won't be much rest along the way for any of us. With the missing person report already in the press we can't ask your mother to retract it…it would be too suspicious. Paxton is probably planning to add conspiracy to commit murder to her indictment.”

“That’s what Casey Novak thinks.” Ed said. “That was her on the phone. It’s the charge most likely to hold water if Haden can talk his way out of the rest.”

“I know Casey Novak.” Liv said. “She's good people.” 

“Do you know Cesar Silvano?”

Draper glanced at his partner. Some good news would be nice but it would never start with the name Cesar Silvano.

“I've met him a few times but we are not friends. He works with David on some of his projects in DC. He's a Colombian entrepreneur helping kids stay out of the drug game there and in the United States. We've sipped overpriced wine and discussed politics and Derek Walcott. That’s all I know about him. Why?”

“I'm just asking.”

“No, you don’t ask without a reason. You promised not to keep me in the dark, Tucker.” Liv said.

“There is a possibility that your husband is enlisting Silvano’s help in bringing you and your son home.”

“So there is something to the rumors that he’s a dangerous man?” Olivia asked. “David always said that people played on ethnic fears to say bad things about Cesar. Did you know he has a Master’s degree from Princeton?”

“He is a well-dressed, well-educated monster.” Draper said. “You won't be able to wipe up the blood from your slashed throat with his little piece of paper from Princeton.”

Olivia got very quiet, sipping the milkshake Draper bought for her. She hated herself for the tears brimming in her eyes that spilled over. There was no point in trying to hide them so she didn’t. She was never going to see her baby again…they were going to kill her. Dammit, Olivia should have just stayed with David. Anything would have been more bearable than this. 

Sonya Paxton couldn’t have anything concrete on him or she never would have showed up at her office. Not that that visit alone sent Liv packing. It all felt like a horrible mistake. But the way David attacked her was not a mistake. He was coming undone and she didn’t want to be around when the last bandage of his façade unraveled. Perhaps she wouldn’t be. A glimpse of the monster within might be the last thing she saw before death took its everlasting grip on her.

***

“This might not be the best time to mention that this is one of my fears.” Olivia said.

“What's that?” Draper asked.

“Confinement. Did we have to get a sleeper car? I really hate sleeper cars.”

“Look out the window,” Ed replied. “It might be helpful.”

“Doubtful.”

“Give it a try. We’re going to leave you alone for a little while but will be right outside.”

Liv bit down on a cheeky response and just nodded. She watched as they left the room, knowing Ed would tell Cole everything she told him last night. She wished he wouldn’t but knew there was nothing she could do about it. Maybe it would help. Liv didn’t know how but if they wanted to know so bad surely there had to be a reason. She sat in the almost comfortable seat across from the bunk bed, leaned her head on the window and pulled a picture from her backpack.

It was she and David, a year old Noah in his arms. They were so happy; their frozen smiles mocking her after all she had been through. She didn’t want to sit on a train for 14 hours, from Chicago to Cheyenne, and think of the many ugly turns her life had taken. While Olivia Benson was never one to feel sorry for herself longer than a few minutes, she wasn’t sure if she would recover from this. The most insane part was that she missed and still loved the man she thought David Haden was. It wasn’t logical…absolutely none of it made sense. That was probably something she would have to get used to.

“What are we up against?” Draper asked. 

He and Tucker were leaning against the wall in the narrow walkway. They faced each other but also looked over the other’s shoulder. Confinement wasn’t their favorite idea either but it was easier to jump from a train than a plane if it had to come to that. It was 14 hours from Chicago to Cheyenne, with stops in Peoria, Sioux City, and Lincoln before getting to Wyoming at about 3:30 in the morning. Detective Fin Tutuola, an old acquaintance of the pair would have a car waiting for them at the station for the eight hour ride to Forsyth, Montana.

“I don't know.” Ed said.

“I don’t like that answer.”

“Me neither but this case is getting stranger by the moment. Not the hour, but the moment.”

“I am not sure I trust Benson at all.” Cole said. “There's something fishy as hell about the entire thing.”

“Her running has nothing to do with the case Paxton is putting together. That just happened to coincide with her plan, which was already in motion.”

“She talked to you?”

“Yeah.” Ed nodded. “A little.”

He told Draper most of the story that Olivia told him last night. Cole listened intently and then sighed.

“This is nothing more than a DV case?” he asked. “I mean we've had some bad ones over the years but none like this.”

“Well David Haden surely knows his wife doesn’t know much about whatever he may or may not be doing at Homeland Security. That place is like Langley; we don’t even know what they're doing most of the time.”

“She’s smart enough to put 2 and 2 together though.”

“I don’t know the man,” Tucker said. “But I think Paxton’s case is full of holes. It’s why she had Dr. Benson declare Olivia and Noah missing.”

“Two murders, even without bodies, is a strong accusation.” Draper replied. “It also lends to her other case because what other reason would he have to “kill” his wife than she knew too much?”

“When really it’s as simple as a man who wants control of everything around him. He could have killed her that night. Her miscarriage saved her life.”

“Does she know what she’s getting into with life on the run?” Draper asked. 

“It won't be life, just a little while. Liz Donnelly isn't to be trifled with. She will keep her goddaughter and the little boy safe.” 

“He’ll never stop until he has them back.”

“Unless he’s rotting in prison for a murder that won't be taking place if we have anything to say about it.” Ed said.

“Jerk or not, I'm not entirely comfortable with that scenario. I guess we just need to do what we’re here to do and stay out of the rest.”

“Yeah.”

“You think someone is on this train?” Draper asked.

“I couldn’t make a tail but who knows. We’ll work as if there is and…” Ed was interrupted by his phone and immediately answered it. “Betsy, is everything alright?”

Draper didn’t want to stick around for that phone call. Tucker’s ex-wife was a hot mess and their situation was similar to a dumpster fire. He'd been singed enough times. He went back into their coach, where Olivia quickly stuffed something in her backpack. She came out with an energy bar.

“Where’s Tucker?” she asked.

“A phone call came in that he had to take.” Draper sat across from her in a smaller seat. He studied her without appearing to do so at all.

“You don’t like me, do you, Sergeant Draper?” 

“I don’t know you and no offense but if this all goes according to plan I won't have the time to get to.”

“Yeah.”

They were both quiet for a while; Liv actually closed her eyes.

“Are you married, Cole?”

“I am. She's been with me since I was nothing and I owe her everything. She lives in the real world and I live out here. Sometimes we meet in the middle.”

“Oh God, I can understand that.” She smirked.

“The job I do…it’s not easy on a partner. I'm on the road a lot and my life is often in danger. I never asked Sandra to take it on and sometimes I still don't know why she did. I even told her once to leave, didn’t want this shit tearing us apart. Apparently she's a lot stronger than I am on the subject.”

“You and Tucker seem close.” she said.

“He’s one of the longest relationships of my life.” Draper said. “We've had our share of ups and downs but it is built on a solid foundation of trust and hard work. Damn, we do sound like a married couple. That must piss Sandra off”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It must be a good feeling to know that someone has your back no matter what. Especially when you have no idea what's lurking around the next corner.”

“We’re not going to let anyone hurt you.” Draper replied. “It would be silly to tell you not to be afraid but…”

“I am scared, but not of all of this. It’s what's going to happen after. I've never run from anything in my life. There was so much that should have broken me but it didn’t. Yet here I am running. I've failed myself and I know I've failed my son.”

“So you don’t think your husband is trying to kill you?”

“The one thing I know is that I don’t know David Haden. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could change the way I did things. I let fear rule me instead of logic…that’s unlike me.”

“Sonya Paxton probably didn’t help.” he said.

“Oh fuck her,” Liv sighed. “I just want to be there when she gets what she deserves for the lives that she has fractured.”

“I’ll make sure you are.”

She nodded, smiling. Draper returned it.

“You promise?” she asked.

“Consider it done.”

Ed came back into the coach car. He looked tired and frustrated. Draper didn’t say a word but the look on Tucker’s face concerned Olivia.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Fine.”

“You don’t look…”

“I'm fine.” He cut her off. “This is going to be a long train ride without stops for smoke breaks or snacks. We should all buckle down for the evening.”

Olivia didn’t say anything else to him; curling up in her seat and watching the world go by at breakneck speed. God, if she could turn back the hands of time, where would she be?

***

She looked at her watch when she woke from her nap. It was one a.m., another two and a half hours until they got to Wyoming. She turned on the bed, more uncomfortable than the seats in the room, and looked at Tucker and Draper. They were both asleep. Draper’s head was back, arms crossed over his chest. Tucker was the same except his feet were up on the chair across from him. The room was dimly lit; all Liv could hear was the sound of train tracks ahead and behind them.

Her movements were slow as she sat up in the bed; didn’t want to wake them. Finally on her feet, she grabbed her backpack and slid it through her arms. She walked to the door and turned the knob slowly. A small noise made her jump and turn. Neither cop had moved. It probably wasn’t the best idea for them to sleep as soundly as they were but Liv knew they had to be exhausted. The lock gave, the door opened, and she slipped out without making a sound.

“She’s gone.” Tucker muttered.

“She’s good,” Draper replied, one eye opening. “She must have snuck out a lot as a teenager. I almost want to compliment her cat-like skills.”

“Just go and get her…it’s your turn.”

“How? You’ve never…”

“I made her open up. You go and get her.”

“Fine.”

Draper got up and looked out the door. She damn sure wasn’t running; she wasn’t even halfway down the long hall. When she looked behind her, he slipped back inside.

“She isn’t running.” He said. “I have no damn idea what she is doing.”

“Keep an eye on her.” Ed said.

“Yeah.”

He left the room and watched her walk along. She wasn’t in a hurry; maybe she just wanted a smoke. Damn addiction was going to be the death of all three of them. Smoking wasn’t allowed on trains anymore but there had to be somewhere for them to go. Draper kept his distance as he followed her through two train cars. She turned around a few times and he didn’t know how he managed it in such an enclosed space, but he ducked away.

The caboose, did they even still call it that, would be a good place to get some air. Suddenly someone else was in his field of vision and closing in on Olivia. Shit! There was no time to alert Tucker; he was on his own with this one. Draper had no idea how many there were. He watched her stiffen as the large man took hold of her. 

“Scream and you die.” He whispered in her ear, a knife pressed in her side. “Just keep walking.”

“Who are you?”

“Shut up. You don’t get to ask questions.”

“Did my husband send you?”

“Shut up.” He poked the knife in her side and Olivia grimaced. “We can do this the hard way or the easy way. I'm sure you would prefer the easy way. I don’t really give a damn.”

“You would never kill me on a train full of people. It’s too risky.”

“Aren't you a smart one?” he pulled her into the darkness between cars and held the knife to her throat. It was long and it was sharp. “Smart asses die first. You want the poor soul who has to identify your body seeing it split from chin to sternum?”

Liv shivered as he and the knife pressed her into the wall. His breath smelled, he was sweaty, and she was trapped.

“If you're nice to me, then I’ll be nice to you. If you're not…”

“If you fucking touch me, my husband will give you a new definition for the word pain.” she spat.

“Shut up.” He slapped her before grabbing her throat. “Who the hell knows why he would want a back-talking shrew like you back. Maybe I can make it so you never talk lip again.”

Olivia fought the hand around her throat. He was strong and she was starting to fade. Draper came out of nowhere, tackling the man around the waist as a football player would. He made an ‘oof’ sound and they started tussling.

“Run, Liv!” he exclaimed.

She tried but couldn’t, pinned in the tiny space by the two of them. Draper was trying to get the knife away from the guy while at the same time not to be stabbed to death. They crashed into Liv and the wall; she felt the searing pain. Her hand automatically went up to her shoulder. It came back with blood.

“Oh God, oh dear God. Cole…”

“Run now!”

She slithered along the short wall, falling into the open train car. She turned, stumbled, and broke out into a run. Liv had no idea how badly she was bleeding. All she knew was that she had to get back to Tucker. Saying a prayer that Draper was not dying a painful, atrocious death, she burst back into the sleeper car.

“Tucker!”

“Good God, you're bleeding.”

“Help me. They…and Draper…” she started fading.

Tucker grabbed her before she hit the floor, pulling her over to the seat. He took the backpack off, leaning her against the arm and window. Reaching for his own bag, he opened it and pulled out the first aid kit. First he gave her smelling salt, which brought her back.

“Tucker, oh my God,” she grabbed his shirt, getting her blood on it. “They're going to kill Draper.”

“Calm down, just calm down. You're bleeding and I need to take a look at it. If you're hysterical then the bleeding won't stop.”

“But Cole…”

“I know, but you need to calm down. I have to cut you out of this shirt…the wound looks bad. Try to relax.”

She did her best as Ed cut down the middle of her tee shirt with scissors. He spread it open to reveal a nearly transparent purple bra. She was a beautiful woman but ogling her body was the last thing on his mind. The slash was deep; went right through the bra strap. He checked it with tentative fingers and Liv bit her lip. She never made a sound. As he stopped the bleeding and cleaned the wound with alcohol, Cole came back into the sleeper car. That’s when Liv came back to life.

“Draper, are you alright?” she asked.

“I'm fine.” He turned to Tucker. “Is she going to make it? Will that need stitches?”

“Tough to say.” He finished cleaning it. “It’s a nasty gash but if we take care of it, it should heal on its own.”

“Fin can do stitches.” Draper said. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Are you alright?” he turned away from Olivia for a matter of seconds but Draper saw the concern in his blue eyes.

“He’s out cold and he’s not Colombian. I stashed him in the last car with a blanket over him. We should be on the road before they discover him.”

“I'm sorry I left. I wasn’t running I swear; I just needed space to think. I told you confinement freaks me out.” She gritted her teeth as Ed put the gauze and medical tape over the wound.

“The bleeding should slow or stop altogether.” He said. “You're right Draper, we’ll get Fin to do the stitches.” He looked at Olivia. “He’s no Noah Wyle; it'll be effective but might hurt like hell.”

“I can handle it.”

Patched up, she now felt naked. There was no use in trying to cover up, they had seen all a man wanted to see. To their credit, neither man seemed overly impressed with her breasts. Olivia stood, faltering a bit but holding her own.

“Could I…I’d like to put a shirt on.”

“Hurry,” Draper said. “We have to get this blood off of us too.”

She nodded and they left her alone. The hallway was dim, empty. It didn’t seem like Cole had been in the fight of his life just a few minutes before.

“Are you alright?” Tucker asked, his hand gently falling on Draper’s shoulder.

“Well I do believe the little woman cares.” 

“I don’t care,” Tucker smirked, falling right in with the banter of Nick and Nora Charles. “I'm just used to you, that’s all.”

Draper grinned.

“He got some licks in, nothing I couldn’t handle. He wasn’t shit without the knife and I had an advantage on him…he wasn’t used to confined spaces. I could’ve snapped his neck but the knockout pinch will keep him down for a couple of hours.”

“Who was he?” Tucker asked.

“Hell if I know; he didn’t have any ID on him. All he had was two knives. I know he was sent by Haden but he wasn’t supposed to hurt her.”

“How do you know?”

“I heard them talking. He might have raped and killed her anyway. She was talking too much and he didn’t have a calm temper. Good help is definitely hard to find these days.”

“I'm glad you got him before he could hurt her.”

“Yeah,” Draper crossed his arms, grimacing slightly. “I'm too old for these goddamn shenanigans. If I even sound like I'm going to bitch about a case in the future, remind me of the train to Cheyenne.”

“With pleasure.”

“It better not be too much pleasure.”

Ed smiled, patting Cole’s shoulder. He knocked on the door and Olivia told them it was fine to come back in. They all wanted to get off this train as soon as possible though who knew what was waiting out there for them out in the world.

***

_Well she was an American Girl_  
Raised on promises  
She couldn’t help thinkin’  
That there was a little more life somewhere else  
After all it was a great big world  
With lots of places to run to  
And if she had to die tryin’  
She had one little promise she was going to keep  
Oh yeah, all right  
Take it easy baby, make it last (make it last all night)  
She was an American Girl

Liv slowly came out of the haze; they were still moving. She could have sworn they had gotten off the train. She remembered getting off the train, feeling woozy and leaning on Draper. It was daylight now so they couldn’t be on the train. She sat up, grimacing in pain. Cole looked in the rearview mirror.

“She’s awake.” He said.

“What happened to me?” she asked.

“You passed out while Fin was stitching you up.” Ed replied. “Are you in any pain?”

“Yes. It’s more discomfort than anything. I’m very uncomfortable right now.”

“We can stop for a little while. It might be good for you to stretch your legs, get some food, and have a smoke.” Cole said.

“Are you serious? Why are you being so nice to me? Have I developed sepsis? Am I dying? How many days have gone by?”

“Don’t even joke about something like that.” Tucker replied sternly as Cole smirked.

“I think after your harrowing experience you at least deserve one of those silly cloves.”

“Thanks…Cole.”

“You're welcome.”

Liv went to look at her watch but her wrist was bare. She sighed. Money didn’t mean everything but some lucky bastard probably found a $3500 Michele watch on the train this morning.

“I lost my watch. What time is it?”

“Seven thirty.” Ed said.

“Oh my God, I've been out of it for four hours!”

“You're exhausted.” Draper said in a matter of fact tone.

“I'm hungry.” Liv tried to stretch and yelped in pain. “Ow, fuck!”

“Be gentle with that shoulder.” Ed told her.

“Obviously. For how long?”

“Probably just a few days, could be up to a week though. You took a banging even without the stab wound. You're going to be fine but you need to rest when we get to Montana.”

Olivia didn’t say anything for a while. She wanted to but wasn’t really sure what. It was hard to believe it had only been two days since she met them in a dank New Jersey motel. Practically a lifetime sped by in 52 or so hours. There were still far more questions than answers and she hated that.

“What happens after that?” she asked. “How long will I have to be in this safe house? I miss my son and want to get on with whatever is left of my life. I want to call Aunt Liz and make sure they're alright.”

“We’ll regroup when we get there.” Cole replied. “With your face on a milk carton now it might be best to lay low for a week or two. We also have to get all the paperwork so you can get out of the country.”

“A week or two! I thought you said you had a plan. I'm not the criminal here.”

“We do, so just relax.” Ed said. “Others have gotten involved and we’ve had to think on our feet but it’s not something we aren’t used to. Let’s just get something to eat and make it safely to Montana. That’s what we need to focus on…there’s no need to get ahead of ourselves. We survived the train but that doesn’t mean nothing else is coming at us.”

Liv nodded. She leaned back in the seat and tried to relax. Her shoulder was throbbing but she wouldn’t take the Motrin in her backpack until there was food in her stomach. She wondered how many hours there were between Cheyenne and Montana. Where the hell in Montana were they even going; it was a big state. She couldn’t let herself believe she was safe yet. Two attempts on her life in two days; it didn’t make sense. She kept thinking it was almost time to wake up from the nightmare.

She would wake in her own comfortable bed, in her husband’s arms. Her life would be peaceful and unchanged. No, Olivia needed to keep her feet on the ground…it would never be that way again. David had clearly lost his mind. He sent people to kill her and get their son back. Her life meant nothing to him. At least this safe house would provide Liv with a sliver of security. 

There would be warm baths, hot meals, and maybe even a night or two of comfortable sleep. She knew that, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t rush leaving the country. Olivia Benson was a missing person now and had to be even more under the radar. Still, what she wanted more than anything was her son back in her arms. Then she could be whole again…then she could leave this nightmare behind her.

***

It was almost five when Draper turned onto the miles long dirt path that would take them to where they wanted to go. Liv looked all around her, nothing but rocks and trees. Part of her felt secure but also thought that no one would hear her scream out there. There were no other houses around, no people, no animals…there didn’t even seem to be wind. Would they get cell phone service out here? Would they have a chance to call for help if ambushed? Oh my God, since when did she start thinking about things like ambushes? Cole practically pulled up to the front steps, cutting the ignition. He looked up at the place.

“It’s nice and cozy.” He said.

“Three bedrooms; two and a half baths.” Tucker replied. “There’s a manmade lake out back, and surely good hunting in these woods.”

“Dodds keeps guns here?” Draper asked.

“He keeps them locked up. I don’t have the keys or the combination.”

“Alright. Let’s check it out.”

He and Tucker got out of the car. Ed looked at Olivia before closing the door.

“Stay here and stay down.”

“That’s not going to happen,” she got out of the car. “I admit to not being overly fond of the woods. I will not sit in the car like a target.”

“This isn’t a horror film.” Draper said. “No slasher in a hockey mask will emerge from the trees, I promise.”

“An assassin might. Bet you thought we were safe on the train too, Draper.”

“We probably would've been if you didn’t sneak out, Benson.” He countered.

“Fine, just stick close to me.” Tucker stopped her before she could say anything else. He knew that look on a woman’s face; she was about to go in. He took his gun off his shoulder as Draper took one from his waist.

“I can shoot too.” Liv said. “I told you that I used to be a cop. I'm not made of glass, Captain Tucker.”

Draper thought for a moment that maybe they wouldn’t be in this if she had taken the bullet to her husband. He shook off that thought and started up the steps. Ed looked back at Olivia.

“Just stay close.”

“I will, I promise.” She nodded, following him up the steps.

The two cops, with their protectee in tow, swept the place and found it empty. It looked as if it had been that way for a while, which suited their needs. They went back outside for their bags from the SUV. Cole parked it on the other side of the house where it wouldn’t be seen from the road. 

Then he grabbed the electronic equipment supplied by Fin Tutuola. It would take some time but he and Tucker planned to do a thorough sweep for audio and visual bugs. This was Dodds’ private paradise, not a crash pad. Still, considering the twists and turns they took in just the past few days, no stone would be left unturned.

“Do you think I could take a bath?” Olivia asked.

She was sitting on one of the bottom stairs and they saw how exhausted she was. Tucker really wished they could have taken her to the hospital for that knife wound but he trusted Fin’s assessment and ability. With her face, and that of her son, likely plastered all over the television they might have to lie low for a while. While David Haden wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted, Sonya Paxton wouldn’t either. That put Olivia smack in the middle of two warring factions. Both were gunning for her in one way or another.

“That’s probably a good idea,” Ed said. “You're in the middle room, Draper and I on either side with doors for access. Dodds said there’s plenty of food so we’ll make some dinner.”

Liv raised an eyebrow; she didn’t bother to hide her skepticism.

“You're lucky I'm really hungry.” She stood slowly, turned, and went up the stairs.

Draper looked at Tucker, who was looking after her with his arms crossed.

“She’s not the only one who’s hungry.” Cole said. “I’ll check out the fridge.”

“That’s a good plan. We’ll have dinner and then sweep this place again. I don’t know how long we’ll have to be here but I need to know every crevice like the back of my hand.”

Draper nodded, feeling the same way.

***

The water was nearly too hot, just the way she wanted it. Olivia filled the antique porcelain tub before carefully removing her tee shirt. She walked into the bedroom to finish undressing. It was a beautiful cabin with lovely wood and antique furniture. Still there was no way she would ever be able to see it more than a prison.

Liv couldn’t spend the rest of her life feeling like this…something had to give. She grabbed a towel from the closet wrapping it around her naked frame. Back in the bathroom, she dropped it and slipped into the tub. Wincing from the hot water, she gritted her teeth and sat down. After 30 seconds she added a bit more cold water until she was almost comfortable. 

She folded the smaller hand towel, leaning her head back on the rim. It was almost impossible to relax, but knowing Tucker and Draper were downstairs allowed her to finally close her eyes. They were in the middle of nowhere; no one had followed them. No bogeyman was going to get her just yet. Maybe it was alright to let her guard down just a little…

“Olivia, I thought…”

She screamed when she heard the voice, sending some water splashing over the edge of the tub. Her first instinct, jumping up and running, was quickly dashed by her being completely naked. Instead Liv sunk deeper into the water, up to her chin. It was clear though that he still saw everything the Lord gave her and the birthmark from her grandmother.

“I knocked but you didn’t answer.” Tucker said. “Were you asleep…you could’ve drowned.”

“I was resting my eyes. What can I do for you, Captain Tucker?”

It unnerved her a bit that he never took his eyes off her. He wasn’t staring at her body but into her eyes. Liv couldn’t read his expression at all. Blank would have been the wrong word. The man looked as if he had so many thoughts and feelings that even he struggled to keep up. Damn if a mere mortal would ever figure him out.

“I cut up some fruit for you.” Tucker came closer and held out the ceramic bowl. “I thought you might like something…real. One cannot live off Dairy Queen and Circle K alone.”

“Thanks,” Liv finally sat up and took it. “That was a surprisingly kind gesture.”

“It’s the surprisingly kind side of me that women comment on the most.” Tucker almost smiled. “Draper is putting chicken, steak, and vegetables on the grill so whenever you're ready come on down and have some dinner.”

God that almost sounded normal. Olivia nodded and Tucker turned to walk out of the room. The sound of her voice made him turn around.

“I would like to call Aunt Liz.” She said.

“That can be arranged. Cole and I…” 

“I have a cell phone.”

“What? You have a cell phone? Do you realize that…?”

“David could have been following us around the country using my SIM card against me?” Olivia asked. “Of course I do Tucker. I've been trying to tell you that I know quite a lot. Aunt Liz gave me a disposable cell phone before we left New Jersey that has been turned off the entire trip. Did you ever stop to think that Big Brother might be following us with those Government Issue phones you guys carry?”

“Our phones aren’t disposable but they are off the grid; believe me.” Tucker sighed. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“I want to call Aunt Liz. Whether we do it your way or my way, we’re still doing it.”

“You have no idea when to stop and take a breath, do you? Neither Cole nor I are the bad guys here and I know that you aren’t either. Under different circumstances, your defiance might be attractive. But you're not Eva Marie Saint and I'm damn sure not Cary Grant.”

“That’s for sure.” Liv rolled her eyes. “I could give a damn what you find attractive, Ed Tucker.”

There was something about the way she said it. Ed wasn’t stupid enough to think she was flirting with him, not even for phone privileges, but there was something about the way she said it. He just sighed and walked out of the room. Olivia leaned back in the bathtub. She looked at the bowl of fruit…sliced strawberries, melon, pineapple, and white grapes. Drawing her knees to her chest, she tried to get back to an almost relaxed state but knew that was as good as over. It had been a nice reprieve while it lasted.

***

“Carmen, it’s damn good to hear your voice.”

“I can definitely say the same. It feels like forever, papa bear.”

Draper smiled. It was a clear night with a chilly breeze coming off the trees. Every star in the sky was visible…there was a reason they called this Big Sky Country. Cole couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, that he had seen that many stars. He was a city boy through and through. The woods gave him the creeps.

“I got a text from Barba earlier.” He said.

Carmen made a noise like a game show buzzer. She knew if Rafael Barba was sending texts then something was going down.

“He said the package is ready for pickup. I'm coming home.”

“That was fast, even for Barba. Are you guys safe and where you need to be?” Carmen asked.

“We got in a few hours ago. It was a very interesting trip.”

“What happened?”

“I'm not telling you,” Draper said. “You worry enough.”

“Oh God. Did you have to kill people? Did people try to kill you?”

“Tucker and I are in one piece and so is Olivia Benson. I finally had a chance to catch up on some reading.”

“Anything good?” Carmen asked.

“The case of The People vs. David Haden. It has more holes than a golf course. Is Sonya Paxton so desperate to climb the ladder that she’s willing to put her career on rusty rungs?”

“Things are looking up for her. Dr. Serena Benson was mostly sober when she did a press conference this morning waving pictures of her daughter and grandson in happier times. NYPD asked David Haden to come in for questioning.”

“Asking doesn’t really matter.” Draper replied.

“I think this is the kind where they showed up at his home with handcuffs. Not the fun ones either.”

“This case just gets more and more baffling. Are you sure Olivia’s not in up to her neck in whatever he is?”

“Everything I could find says no.” Carmen said. “I went down every rabbit hole and around every dark corner. Olivia Benson is not her husband’s willing accomplice, at least not that I could find. Hell, on paper, even Haden is clean as a whistle.”

“I'm sure you found something, kid. I know you like getting dirty in cyberspace. Why, I will never know.”

“Well I don’t like to brag…”

“Yeah you do. Go on, I am dying to hear you talk filthy to me.”

“Your guy is pretty shady if you follow the money.” Carmen said laughing. “Kyoto, Johannesburg, Switzerland, the Caymans, Thailand, Berlin…everything is clean when he’s done with it. That includes the man himself. Evidence against him would be circumstantial at best, and paper thin. Paxton’s best chance would be a murder charge. Some of the shady cretins Haden knows, both foreign and domestic, a jury could certainly infer that he made his family disappear.”

“He tried to, Carmen. He would have succeeded…”

“If it wasn’t for you pesky kids and your stupid dog?”

“Pretty much.” Draper laughed. “I should go; I don’t want to tie up the line just in case. I’ll be in late tomorrow, but you know my first stop is to see my favorite girl. After Casey Novak, it’s straight to your lair.”

“Cute, Draper.”

“That’s me.”

“Be safe.” Carmen said.

“You know it. Bye.”

Cole was turning off his phone as Ed came out on the porch. His partner handed him a beer.

“I don’t think one will impair judgment.” He said. “In fact, I think we deserve it. I was considering a bourbon with a beer back but didn’t want to push it.”

“You'll get no argument out of me.” Draper took a healthy sip. “Where’s Olivia?”

“Sound asleep, I just checked on her. She looks peaceful.”

“Thoughts of a new life might have calmed her.”

“She still has a long journey ahead.”

Ed leaned on the wooden banister and Cole studied him. He had taken off his jacket and tie. Some buttons were undone, shirt sleeves rolled up. The shoulder holster was gone and his Glock rested comfortably on his waist. This was relaxed Tucker, which was a little bit sad.

“I'm on the 6:30 out of Billings tomorrow evening. I'm taking the SUV, the drive is about two hours west from here.”

“Dodds has a gassed up Jeep in the garage and an ATV. Still, I don’t think we were followed.”

“I don’t either, but since Haden always seems to be right with us or a step ahead, I don’t plan on letting my guard down. How the hell did he know we were on that train?”

“What are you asking?” Tucker asked.

“A question.”

“Do you think Olivia is somehow communicating with him?” Ed thought about the smuggled cell phone. He felt guilty for not telling Cole but had known him long enough to know he would blow a gasket.

“No. I'm just thinking how convenient it was for her mother to declare her missing.”

“She said her mother and godmother only spoke under duress. I also gather that she and her mother are estranged.”

“You have kids, Tucker. If something ever happened to them, hypothetically, who would be your first call?”

“Betsy.”

“Exactly, because she's the one who has primary custody. The professor and the judge should be no different.”

“Maybe Donnelly lied to Dr. Benson…maybe she told her she didn’t know where Olivia was.” Tucker said. “Loose lips sink ships. She probably knew how much Serena loved David. She couldn’t trust her not to talk to him. Serena would probably think she was doing it for Olivia’s own good; certainly for Noah’s. Maybe even for her own.”

“If she loved Haden so much how can she suddenly think him capable of murder?” Draper asked. “Not just of Olivia but his three year old son as well.”

“I think Dr. Benson is genuinely worried about her daughter.” Ed said. “Maybe she feels guilty because they don’t have the best relationship. Sonya Paxton smelled blood like the buzzard that she is so she pounced on a worried mother. She wants her indictment and the professor just wants the bad feelings in her stomach to be wrong.”

Cole nodded, taking in more beer. He wondered how well he would sleep tonight. There wouldn’t be safety until Olivia Benson was making a run for the border and they were back to chasing the normal sociopaths. The lengths people went to exercising control over those they loved or claimed to love never cease to amaze him.

“NYPD brought David Haden down to the station for questioning.” He said.

“The plot thickens.” Ed replied. Damn, that bourbon would be good right about now.

“I just talked to Carmen. I called her after getting the text from Barba that the package was ready for pickup.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I won't even count tomorrow since I'm not getting into Kennedy until after midnight. I’ll probably crash and hit Hogan Place on Monday morning. I think the whole thing might take three days. While I'm there, I need to check out David Haden with my own eyes.”

“I was going to say…”

“I know you were. I can read your mind.” Cole said.

“You probably can.” Tucker almost grinned. 

“No probably about it; I really can. Will you be alright here with Olivia?”

“What do you mean?”

“The question is simple.”

“No,” Ed shook his head. “It’s not.”

“Tell me what you think I'm thinking.” Draper said.

“I'm not the mind reader, Cole, you are.”

They were both quiet for a while, enjoying the spring night and the beer. Tucker had a feeling about what his longtime partner was saying. If he refuted it too loudly it would only confirm it in Draper’s mind.

“I can't help wanting it to be different for her.” He conceded. “I don’t know her whole story but it seems like she's been through enough.”

“It sucks for lots of people…we see it too much in our line of work. There’s something else.”

“C'mon Cole, spit it out. I'm tired and don’t want to play word games.”

“You look at her differently, man. It’s almost like you have feelings for her or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just empathy; surely you feel it too. She's separated from her son and running for her life.”

Draper made a slight movement with his neck but said nothing. Tucker crossed his arms.

“I do not have feelings for Olivia Benson, that’s ridiculous. I don’t even know the woman. I admit to having an overwhelming feeling that I need to fix this. The idea of her running forever with her son doesn’t sit well with me. There are so many other things she could be doing…the world is better with her in it.”

“You just said you don’t even know her.” Draper reasoned. “But the world is better with her in it.” 

“Don’t act as if you don’t get a vibe from someone the second you meet them. I got the vibe, alright.”

“Well don’t get any vibes when you're here alone with her.”

“If you weren't my best friend I would take a swing at you for that.” Tucker replied through clenched teeth.

“And I’d kick your ass, just like I have before. I am your best friend; I know these past few years have been hell for you. Then this beautiful woman comes along and needs a hero. You're a big damn hero, Tucker. I'm not trying to bust your balls; those feelings are normal. Just don’t let them get in the way of the goal.”

“There are no feelings. We haven’t even known her for three days. I admit to empathy, hell, in another life she might be someone I could possibly, maybe, be attracted to. Still, I am completely focused on what needs to be done. This isn't Lifetime, this is reality.”

Draper nodded. He didn’t quite believe him about Olivia, three days or not. Life had been rough for Tucker since his wife cheated and then booted him out a few years before. He became a part-time member of his kids’ lives, throwing himself even more into dangerous work. In another life, Olivia would have been more than a friend. 

Cole was sure of it…she annoyed him in the same ways Tucker had when they first met. He knew his partner was focused on their job, even with the reminder it wasn’t that big of a concern. Still, the loss of this woman to a life of uncertainty and instability was the last thing the troubled police captain needed. Tucker never got too close; Cole had more than once, but there was a first time for everything. He wished it wasn’t a case filled with more twists, turns, and plot strands than a Judith Krantz novel. 

“I got your back no matter what. To hell, Poughkeepsie, and back.”

That made Ed smile. Poughkeepsie had been an awful case—kids and sex traffickers—but they solved it and got out alive. That was one of the reasons Dodds put them together…no one did it like Tucker and Draper.

“Ditto.” Ed replied.

“I think I'm going to try and get some sleep.”

Cole stood. He stretched and finished his beer. A proper meal and a few hours of relaxation helped exhaustion set in. He was still on guard, though; he would not be sleeping as if he was in his own bed. It beat an SUV, a chair, and a coach car by a country mile. Moving past Tucker, he patted his partner’s shoulder.

“Get some rest tonight; you deserve it.”

“Yeah. You’re in the front and I'm in the back. There’s a bathroom between Olivia and me; you only have a door.”

“Right.” Cole nodded.

“Oh, and she wants to call the judge so she can check on Noah.”

“That’s fine with me…I'm sure the separation is hard on her. Goodnight, Tucker.”

“Goodnight.”

Left alone, Tucker stared out into the dark woods. In a few days this would be over. Once Draper got back from New York with everything Olivia needed, they would drive her to Calgary and she would be on her way. He still thought it was a good idea to lay low for at least a week. She needed to mend from the knife wound and the heat of the missing persons report needed to cool off. 

Casey had sent a recording of Serena Benson on CNN this evening flashing photos of her daughter wearing her upper middle class smile and holding her adorable son. Olivia Benson had become America’s daughter tonight. There probably wasn’t a jury in the country that wouldn’t fry David Haden, bodies and evidence be damned. That didn’t sit right with Ed, personal feelings about the man aside. Surely this would all be over before anyone could properly investigate but very little sat right with him right now. A domestic squabble grew in the middle of a federal investigation, independent of each other but now colliding like two Mack trucks.

Olivia was not an abused woman crouching in a corner, but she was abused nonetheless. Everything was running through his mind but two and two kept equaling five. What did he need to add or take away to get a clearer picture? Tucker did not like having half the story…there had to be more. He didn’t think Olivia was involved in anything illegal, but perhaps he shouldn’t be giving her the benefit of the doubt. Others he encountered certainly never got it.

While Draper was gone Ed needed to get more out of her. Maybe in the end it just wouldn’t make sense; sometimes life didn’t. He would prefer the whole story no matter what though. Even if the only thing going through his mind right now was one needed to be careful what they wished for.

***

Ed walked into the den. “How does breakfast for dinner sound?”

“I'm sorry?” Liv pulled the ear buds from her ears.

“You can't wear those. You won't be able to hear me when I call you.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “I was just trying…it’s a little bit of normalcy.”

“Dodds has an iHome over there on the shelf, plug it in. I'm going to make some steak and eggs; are you hungry?”

“I've been eating too much lately.” She laughed; it was self-deprecating. “I wouldn’t say I'm on a diet but I've spent a long time being very careful about my appearance. That’s mostly gone to hell the past month.”

“Fuck it then.” Tucker said, an uncharacteristic grin flashing across his face.

“Captain Tucker, such language in front of a lady.”

“There’s a lot of food here…I’ll make you whatever you'd like.”

“You really don’t have to cater to me. I'm not a princess.” She said.

“I'm not the world’s best cook.” He said. “So I wouldn’t call it catering.”

“Well,” Liv stood from the couch. She slipped her iPod in her pocket and went to the shelf to get the iHome. “Maybe if we work together, two mediocres might make a perfect.”

“I'm definitely better than mediocre. We should put that on the record.”

“The record?” She smiled, brushing past him and walking toward the kitchen. “We’ll see about that.”

He didn’t want to smile but couldn’t help himself. There was something about her; he was just drawn to her. Ed slipped his hands into the pocket of his slacks and followed. Olivia plugged in the little stereo, sticking her purple iPod Nano in the right place. She scanned through songs, stopped, and pushed the button. He listened to the music cue up for U2.

“How about omelets instead?” Olivia asked.

“I can live with that. Do we still get steak?”

She smiled, opening the cabinet beside her and pulling out a can.

“And potatoes.” She said.

“Potatoes in a can?” he made a face. I was born and raised in Indiana and I'm sure that’s not right. In fact, it borders on sacrilege.”

“I've got this, Captain…leave the sacrilegious potatoes to me.”

***

It was delicious, absolutely delicious. Tucker hardly wanted to say; giving her a compliment seemed too weird. It seemed…he just shouldn’t do it. They sat together at the kitchen table, plates heavy with steak and potato omelets. He’d made homemade iced tea while Carly Simon played on the stereo. _Nobody Does It Better_ indeed.

“So, how was it?”

He looked at her. Her face was beautiful, inquisitive; he made him smile.

“It was OK.” He replied.

“It was better than that. For once your face is actually giving you away.” Olivia smiled as well. “I can make magic with almost anything out of a can. I don’t know if that’s sad or kinda cool.”

“Are your parents good cooks?” Ed asked.

“Aunt Liz can't boil water. I moved in with her when I was 14 and she lived on a steady diet of expensive restaurants and frozen Lean Cuisine dinners. She and Dodds had been together for 5 years at that point but the menu didn’t change much. My mother, if she was sober enough, could do alright. 

“I ate a lot of Hamburger Helper growing up. David is such an amazing cook; it was another thing that attracted me to him honestly. Even the best five star restaurants bore the palate after a while. We used to enjoy cooking together in the beginning…it sealed our bond.”

Mentioning her husband was a good way to bring Tucker back to reality. This wasn’t some romantic getaway with the woman of his dreams. Olivia Benson was running for what could be her life from a sociopath. He didn’t know a damn thing about her and the whole situation gave him a bad feeling. Was his life so shabby that Ed would fall for a femme fatale? He didn’t like to think that way about her. 

Sometimes shitty things happened to good people. Oh hell, Ed didn’t know what to think. He stood abruptly from the table, taking both plates and putting them in the sink. He watched Olivia stretch her arms above her head; she was probably thinking about a clove and a good night’s sleep. She gasped when the voice of Van Morrison came through the speakers.

“I love this song.” She said.

_Well it’s a marvelous night for a moondance_  
With the stars up above in your eyes  
A fantabulous night to make romance  
‘Neath the cover of October skies  
And all the leaves on the trees are falling  
To the sound of the breezes that blow  
And I'm trying to please to the calling  
Of your heartstrings that play soft and low 

“Do you dance, Ed?” 

“Absolutely not.” He shook his head.

“Oh c'mon,” she stood. “This song is amazing.”

“It is; I still don’t dance.”

“Don’t or won't?” Olivia reached for his hands. “There’s a difference.”

“It’s a little bit of both. It’s a lotta bit of both, actually. I refuse to embarrass myself or you…mostly myself.”

Ed was upset for letting her drag him to the middle of the floor. Olivia put one arm around his neck, slipping her free hand into his. Against his better judgment, his hand found her hip.

“Liv…”

“Just count out the steps; 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3.”

“I'm not that bad.” He cut his eyes at her.

“Are you sure about that?”

“No.” he laughed, shook his head, and pulled her closer. Ed’s hand moved up her back.

They didn’t step, it was better to sway. Ed wanted to save her feet as much as possible. Actually he didn’t want to be dancing at all. He could feel Olivia’s breath on his neck, her breasts on his chest, and her fingers creeping through his belt loops.

“We need to stop.” Ed finally put some distance between them. “This behavior is highly inappropriate.”

“What's inappropriate about dancing?” she asked.

“Everything. This is not…we’re not doing this, Olivia.”

She nodded, ducking her head solemnly. When she looked at him again the clouds had cleared but Ed could see the high walls and barbed wire like in the Jersey motel.

“I really need a glass of wine,” she said. “Or is that inappropriate as well?”

“Help yourself.” He waved toward the wine rack on the counter. “A drink never hurt anyone.”

Olivia grabbed a bottle of Vigneti Zabu Nero d’Avola and searched the drawers until she found a corkscrew. Then she got a wineglass.

“Let me help.”

“I think I can handle a bottle of wine, Captain. I'm not an imbecile. If there’s one thing I'm good at its wine.”

Ed held up his hands in surrender and went over to the sink to wash the dinner dishes. She quickly uncorked the bottle, pouring a healthy glass. Without a word to him, Olivia went outside. He sighed but decided it was better to just let it go. What could he really say? He would probably just make it worse. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to fix it. 

It took a little work but Ed managed to re-cork the bottle. He stuck it in the wine rack with a nice selection of other reds and whites. Tucker got a beer from the refrigerator and walked out on the porch. Olivia had pulled a chair close to the banister so she could put her feet up. 

Two candles were lit on the table, casting a strange glow over her face. She was slowly smoking a clove and didn’t look in his direction. He leaned on the banister, the same as he had talking to Draper the other night. He lit a cigarette of his own. Never had one tasted so good.

“I apologize.” Ed spoke softly.

“For what? You're right.”

“I'm not right.” He shook his head. “Well, I don’t wanna be right.”

“I guess the little joys and frivolities of life, like moondancing, are over. I think…I almost felt normal here. I probably haven’t felt that way longer than I let myself believe.”

“There is nothing wrong with moondancing, Olivia.”

She didn’t respond, just smoked and drank her wine.

“Why are you doing this?” Ed asked. “I don’t think you have to do this.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She looked at him.

“I mean that you have choices. You have money, resources, and certain privileges. Why are you running around from him?”

Olivia turned away again but Ed pushed further.

“You can get the best attorneys; orders of protection, hell, probably even private security for you and Noah. Between Liz Donnelly and Bill Dodds you’d never have to look over your shoulder. Why would anyone choose a life on the run like a fugitive when they have so many other options?”

“What are you really asking me, Ed? Don’t be shy now, just lay it all out since you seem to know so much.”

“Is there something you're not telling me?” he asked.

“There are a million and one things I'm not telling you. My personal life is really none of your business. I didn’t even ask for your help.”

“It is my business if your chickens coming home to roost are going to get my partner or I killed. There are people out there who really need our help.”

“You go to hell.” Liv got up from the chair. “I was between a rock and a hard place, no doubt, but I surely don’t need some white knight. I don’t need a damn hero…you can't save me.”

“Well I'm here, whether you like it or not. I can help you if you just tell me the truth.”

“Why would I lie to you, Ed? What reason do I have? Who in their right mind would make up the shit that I've been through?”

“I'm not…”

“That is exactly what you're saying.” she cut him off. “Just spit it out…say what you need to.”

“Are you involved in something you haven’t told me about?” Ed let it go that she said exactly to him tonight what he said to Cole last night. Damn. “Your husband has proven to be a dangerous man but is there something else.”

“I don’t have anything else to say. I refuse to be interrogated like this.”

“Don’t tell me to spit out my thoughts if you're just going to refuse to answer my questions.” Ed said. “Man up, will you?”

“Fuck you.” Olivia took her wineglass and started walking to the door.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know the whole truth. What are you so afraid of?” Ed pleaded with her. He was angry at himself for resorting to that. Why couldn’t she just trust him; trust someone for once?

“I've told you everything.” Her tone was exasperated. “Dammit Tucker, what do you want?”

“I want to know how these guys seem to know where we are headed for one thing. Then tonight I find out you’ve got a throwaway cell phone.”

“I haven’t contacted him. He’s a resourceful man, as much as you and Draper are. Shit, for all I know he’s implanted a GPS chip under my skin. I didn’t ask for this and I didn’t ask for you. Just leave me alone.”

“That’s not going to happen. I'm not calling you a liar but…there are so many holes in the story. Are you in over your head? Who is trying to hurt you?”

“David!”

“Why? He’s a control freak but sending assassins seems over the top. We’ve gone through everything with a fine-toothed comb and can't find any evidence that your marriage was anything other than perfect.”

Olivia laughed though it was mirthless.

“I was so stupid; I honestly thought you weren't an asshole. My life is in danger and you accuse me of somehow being responsible for it. I bet you're convinced I'm the one who turned David into a criminal. I'm really sorry if my life on paper isn’t a page turner. Forgive me for tearing you away from all that action and adventure for a silly domestic squabble.”

“I didn’t say that,” Tucker crossed his arms. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I'm sorry I even brought this up. I don’t trust you, you don’t trust me, and let's just keep it that way. In a week or so we can just forget we ever met.”

“That’s the first thing you’ve said worth a damn since I met you.”

Turning away from him, Olivia went into the house and up the stairs. Ed let out a noise of frustration. When he saw Draper again he was definitely going to have a bone to pick with him. That exercise accomplished nothing except now Olivia was pissed at him. He still thought she was hiding something but who was he to press her? 

Hadn’t she been through enough? Ed wished that nagging voice inside him saying that something else was going on would leave him alone. No matter how he wished things could be different, the best thing he could do was give Olivia Benson the contents of the package Cole would bring back and forget he ever met her. His world couldn’t stop and start with her problems no matter how plentiful they might be.

***

Tucker was a light sleeper and sometimes an insomniac. Only complete darkness could bring about sleep and the slightest noise usually woke him. So the footsteps, socks or bare feet on the carpet, made him open his eyes. The room was pitch black, but he knew he was no longer alone. He inhaled slowly; the scent of the room had not changed. Lying on his side, Ed reached under his pillow, gripped his Glock, sat up and cocked it.

“You'd do better not to come any closer.” He said into the darkness. “Unless you want to die tonight. It can be arranged.”

“Don’t shoot me, Ed.”

“Liv?” He reached for the lamp. “I could’ve killed you.”

“I didn’t think you'd shoot into a dark room. Jesus…that felt like a Charles Bronson movie.”

“I don’t shoot without provocation.” He put the safety back on, sliding the gun back under the pillow. “I also can't see in the dark. What's wrong?”

“I can't sleep.”

“What's wrong?” he repeated.

Olivia came to sit on the edge of the bed as Ed propped up his pillows. He found it hard not to look at her choice of sleep attire…a Derek Jeter jersey and panties. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her face bare, and she sat on one of her feet.

“What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life?” she asked. “What if I already made it and I can't fix it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what you said. I do have choices, so many more than a lot of women out there. Why would I put this burden on myself, my loved ones, on Noah, if I don’t have to?”

“The short answer, with what little I know, is that you were afraid,” Ed replied. “Deep down you were sure that David was capable of killing you.”

“I still am. I'm afraid for my life, Ed, I swear. I'm so scared for Noah. I don’t know if I'm more afraid that David will get me and I’ll never see him again or David won't get me but I’ll still never see him again.”

“I believe you.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I've believed you from the first conversation we had about it.”

“I didn’t tell a soul about the abuse.” Liv shook her head. “After everything that happened with…when I was a cop. I thought people would look at me like a victim, or worse, like a fool. I didn’t even tell my Aunt Liz and I know that really hurt her. I only called her after David froze my accounts. I really thought I could do it on my own…the less they knew the safer they would be.”

“You were wrong. It’s not because you're not strong; you're very strong. This just isn’t the way. This only works in the movies…or when guys like me and Draper show up. It doesn’t even always work for guys like us.”

“I don’t know what to do next. If I go back and David pretends to be fair about this, he is going to kidnap Noah the second I take my eyes off him. No judge will refuse him visitation because of my maternal instinct. He might spare my life but he is never going to give up his son. Goddammit, I could even lose custody for something like this.”

“You're not going to lose custody of Noah.” Ed said. “I won't let that happen, I know you're a good mother and that you love him.”

Olivia was angry when she started to cry, but Ed pulled her into his arms. She fought it for a minute, didn’t want to be weak, but he held on. He stroked her back; whispered that it was alright to cry. It was alright to get it out and she didn’t have to be alone and afraid anymore. They were going to fix this…they could make it right.

“I just want my son to be alright. I'm doing all of this so that he won't have to live his life in fear.” She sobbed.

“We’re going to take care of him, I promise. David will never take him.”

“You don’t know that. You’ve seen what he’s capable of.”

“Olivia,” he took hold of both sides of her face, making her look at him. “I won't let him. I will not let him hurt you or Noah. I won't. I’ll be on his ass for the rest of his life if I have to be. David will not win.”

“I can't let you take on that burden. This is my problem and I've only made it worse.”

“There are worse things for a man to take on; I know from experience.”

“Ed…” she sighed and her lips curled into a worried frown. Liv didn’t want a hero. She'd always been able to take care of herself. No man was going to rescue her from something another man got her into.

“Shh,” he gave her gentle Eskimo kisses. “We’re going to make this right. You and I will work together until its right. I'm not a hero, I'm just a man who wants to help.”

His lips were warm on hers, tentative at first. Olivia moved her arms around his neck. She deepened the kiss, Ed moaned against her. He pulled the covers back, his arms around her waist, and brought her into bed with him. The clothes came off quickly; there wasn’t much to start. Olivia’s jersey, panties, and Tucker’s boxers and tee shirt hit the floor. 

Naked, skin on skin, Liv couldn’t help but sigh. His kisses became more passionate, nearly frantic, as he touched her body. He wanted to feel every inch of her…stroke, caress, nuzzle. He wanted to have all the time in the world to explore. Her skin was so warm and fragrant; Ed couldn’t help but want all of it. The way she whispered his name nearly drove him mad. 

Was it possible to ache so much for someone you barely knew? She loved the strength of his shoulders. She loved his shoulder blades, his arms, and his back. She loved the way his body felt on top of hers; so strong but gentle and light. When the kissing stopped, Olivia opened her eyes. She looked at him, into him, with his opened mouth and lips swollen from their kisses. She didn’t want to stop or make him stop, which is what his eyes asked her. Instead, she ran her thumb across his bottom lip and whimpered when Ed sucked it into his mouth. 

It had been a long time since either one of them had made love. Their bodies were foreign to each other but still connected on a level that neither knew the word for. When she cried out his name, Ed replied with hers. When she pressed against him, he pressed back. His thrusts were long, strong, and deep but it was clear her satisfaction was central to his.

“Mmm, oh God Ed.” Liv gripped his hips, her eyes fluttering shut as her back arched. “Oh God, don’t stop. Don’t stop!”

His mouth made love to her shoulders, chest, and breasts. He knew he was close…felt as if he was going to detonate. She grabbed his face and held it close to hers. Liv needed her eyes to speak for her; she needed him to see.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered. “Ohhh, Liv.”

She was falling, quivering when Ed stroked her clit. He watched as she closed her eyes and whimpered his name. When their climax finally came, a moment that was so amazing to share, the tears slid out of Olivia’s eyes. Her lips trembled when he kissed her softly, gently, murmuring words of sweetness.

“Don’t,” She barely whispered, breathless, holding his hips tight when Ed tried to move. “Stay with me.”

He didn’t say anything, just buried his face in the crook of her neck to inhale the scent of their mingled flesh. Ed Tucker had done it; he had gone past the point of no return. Damnation was not supposed to feel this blissful. The fall would certainly be more treacherous than the climb.

***

“How’s it going?” Cole asked.

“I'm more concerned about what's happening there.”

“I got the package. I also paired up with Casey Novak to stake out the man himself.”

“What did you find?”

Tucker was sitting in the kitchen on Tuesday night smoking his second cigarette. Liv was asleep in his bed. They had made love twice today; it was more cosmic than the night before. He knew it wasn’t a good situation though. What the hell was the matter with him? All his life Ed had been on the straight and narrow and now he was falling through the blackness. He had no idea where he was going to land.

“He’s surely not walking around like a man with multiple indictments hanging over his head. There’s work, dinner meetings, cooking, and evenings with friends.”

“Any friends in particular?” Tucker asked.

“Pam James.”

“The power defense attorney?”

“His power defense attorney.” Cole said. “I don’t know about you but I don’t make elaborate meals for my lawyer.”

“You don’t have a lawyer.”

“You know what I'm saying.”

“So they're more than friends?” Ed asked.

“She left his place at one o’clock this morning. A Towncar picked her up. Oh, and one good thing about Paxton’s vendetta…we've gotten better audio surveillance. We couldn’t get a bug on his cell phone but the house and office are hot. Haden hardly mentioned Olivia, but he has two different PIs hunting for his son. Also, we think that he’s convinced his mother-in-law that she’s run off with his kid. He's a very charming snake when he wants to be; playing Serena Benson like a fiddle.”

“What about the police?”

“They're running a standard investigation. Lots of questions but few answers are coming in. Everyone says their marriage was perfect.”

“Nobody’s perfect.” Tucker muttered.

“I’m sure Haden will talk about it when he sits down with Diane Sawyer sometime next week. What about Olivia, Ed? Has she said anything else? Have you asked her?”

“Um…she’s not sure if she wants to do this anymore.”

“Buyer’s remorse?” Cole asked.

“I reminded her of how many choices she had. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“So she’s coming back?”

“You need to get back here…we’ll make the right decision.”

“Yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow. Haden is heading out of town.”

“Where?” Ed asked.

“From what Casey and I gathered, Germany. He got a hot tip from one of his detectives.”

“That’s where Dodds and Donnelly are with Noah, Cole. Where in Germany is he going?”

“Bonn; Pam is going with him. They are chartering a private plane and I have Carmen looking but this is off the radar. I haven’t decided if he is just a guy who wants his missing son back or a criminal mastermind. What does that say?”

“I don’t know,” Ed replied, sighing. “He could be both or neither. This whole damn case…”

“Tell me about it. And you got nothing from Olivia? What's been going on there since Sunday?”

“Nothing. Why are you interrogating me? She says she doesn’t know anything about his job beyond the superficial and I believe her. All she wants is to protect her son. If Haden can turn on her in anger then who’s to say he won't do the same to Noah? It looks like he already replaced her with a shinier model.”

“Pam James has been around the block…she damn sure ain’t shiny. She dresses up quite well though.”

Tucker smirked but a long silence on the line followed.

“I would never interrogate you,” Draper said. “We've known each other too long. I trust you implicitly, man, whether or not you trust yourself right now.”

“It’s almost over.” he seemed to be talking more to himself than his partner. “It’s almost over and we can move on.”

“That’s a good plan. I’ll be back tomorrow…Dodds is getting me a chartered flight back. By the way, he's not in Germany, he's back here. We’re all watching each other, Tucker; it’s fuckin intense. Haden is watching us watching him, Paxton is definitely watching us and we are really watching her. And Big Brother is watching us all. I think it might be a good idea to send some people we trust over to Germany to look after Donnelly and the boy, if Haden is on his way there.”

“How is he even leaving the country with all these indictments over his head?” Ed asked.

“Very sneakily. This is some Mission: Impossible shit they got going on here. I don’t want to know what’s going to self-destruct first.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll get this worked out.”

“Yeah. Hey, keep your chin up, man. We've fought through worse battles than this one.”

“I know. Goodnight, Cole.”

“Goodnight.”

Tucker switched lines and called NYPD Chief of Detectives William Dodds. Their conversation was short and to the point. After that he went upstairs and checked on Olivia. She was sound asleep in his bed, curled under the sheets. There was something beautiful and peaceful about her in that state. In his gut, which he had trusted since childhood, Ed was sure she was on the up and up. 

He knew that his objectivity was tainted at this point but it didn’t change his many years as cop. Bad guys were not always easy to point out; deception and disguise were getting better and better. Good people, Tucker could usually scope them out a mile away. There were still more questions than answers; he would probably never know the full story. Still, if Olivia changed her mind and wanted to return safely to her life in New York with her son he would do everything in his power to help.

This was their case; it wasn’t over until they said it was over. David Haden was on the move and so were Tucker and Draper. They wouldn’t need lies and deception to come out on top like some of their brethren…the good guys never did. Against his better judgment, but compelled to anyway, Ed slid between the sheets and held her close. He wouldn’t sleep much tonight; his mind was racing, but this would be the last time. He wanted to appreciate the last time.

“Ed?”

“I sincerely hope that no other man is slipping into this bed with you.”

“Your sense of humor could use a lot of work.” Liv turned in his arms.

“I'm just a cop; didn’t need a sense of humor to past the tests.”

“You're more than a cop, Draper is too. What do you guys really do? I was in the NYPD for many years and I've never seen shields like yours or seen guys who travel around the country working cases. That’s a Fed thing”

“It would take a lifetime to explain.” He sighed, brushing a brown hair behind her ear. He had never wanted and not wanted to be somewhere so much in his life. Looking in her eyes, he wasn’t going to kick her out of the bed. He also wasn’t going to stop her from taking his shirt off or remove her hand as it brushed his boxer shorts. “Liv…”

“Don’t say no.”

“You don’t have to seduce me. You don’t have to play that role. I told you I'm not Cary Grant.”

If there was one thing Olivia was sure she would never do again, it was play a role. Who knew if in the real world she would go for a guy like Ed Tucker? He of plain black suits and stern facial expressions. But there was something, something that drew her to him as a man and not just the cop trying to keep her from being murdered. Wasn’t there? 

God, who knew anymore. So much had happened that Liv wasn’t sure what was real and what was a bad dream. But he was there with her, right now, that was real. Her hands could touch his skin, her lips kiss his neck, her body move against his body. The way he moaned, the way his hands gripped her was absolutely real.

“I don’t want to play a role with you, Ed.” She said.

“What do you want?” that was a hell of a loaded question.

“I want tonight to be tonight; I want this moment to be this moment.” Liv kissed him. “Because I don’t know what's next.”

Ed rolled onto his back and pulled Olivia on top of him. She worked his shorts off being straddling him. It wasn’t going to be easy checking all the entrances and exits while being naughty in bed. But when she was on top of him, when he was inside of her, Ed had one thing on his mind…Olivia. He laced his hands through hers and held on for the ride. At least when he was holding on it didn’t seem as if everything was spiraling out of control.

***

Olivia poured herself a cup of coffee as Tucker walked into the kitchen. She was gone when he woke up that morning; they hadn’t said anything to each other since last night. When he brushed past her to get his own cup, they both felt the electricity course through their bodies. Olivia actually shivered.

“I'm sorry,” she said, not looking up from her cup as she added cream and sugar.

“There’s no reason to apologize to me, Liv. It takes two in that kind of situation; it always has.”

“I'm not the kind of woman who takes this lightly.” She looked up. “Maybe I used to be; I was wild in my youth. I just need you to understand that…”

“I understand.” Ed nodded.

“I'm not sure that you do.”

“I'm trying to.” He put his hand on top of hers resting on the counter. “This is little upside down for all parties involved. We have other things that will have to take precedence. Draper is coming back today; the plan is on the move.”

There were a million words she wanted to say. Even in her mind they seemed to be in a language Olivia couldn’t translate. That was saying a lot for a woman fluent in three languages and conversational in at least 5.

“One of these days it won't be so damn hard to say everything I need to.” She said.

Tucker heard a creak on the porch through the open window and his guard went up. He moved around her and looked out the window just as the front door came crashing in. Olivia screamed as bullets cracked and ricocheted. He pulled them both onto the floor, pulling his Glock from his back holster. They started crawling toward the den; he needed access to an exit. Thankfully the wall separated the kitchen from the front door so whoever was in there hadn’t caught sight of them yet.

“When I tell you to run, you better run.” He whispered. They’d made it behind the couch, feet from the sliding glass door. Listening intently, Tucker could hear at least four different sets of steps. Two were rather heavy…most likely the muscle.

“I'm not leaving you here alone.”

“You're going to do what I say.” He turned to her, took her face in his hands. “Don’t fight me on this, Liv. They're here to kill us and we’re outmanned.”

“Give me your backup gun.” Olivia said. “And don’t give me that funny look; I know you have one.”

Tucker nodded, holding back his sigh. He unhooked his piece and watched her hook it to her own ankle with precision. They were still for a moment, could hear the men getting closer. He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and squeezed her hand.

“Run, Olivia. Run!”

She hesitated for the slightest moment before breaking through the screen door. It surprised the shooters; Tucker jumped up and shot one at close range. She turned around just in time to see him get shot.

“Ed!”

“Go!” It was the last thing he said before losing consciousness.

Liv clipped her ankle jumping down the last three steps but she shook it off. She didn’t care about anything but running. They were behind her, she knew it, and all that mattered was staying alive. Tears stung her eyes though she wasn’t sure if it was from seeing Tucker get shot or the bushes, brambles, and branches cutting her as she ran. Where the hell she was running, Liv didn’t know. She didn’t even know what city she was in, or near. But she knew she would rather die in those woods than at the hands of her husband.

When she felt the two sharp pains in her back, Liv turned around. She saw an unrecognizable face as darkness started to embrace her. They were coming toward her but she couldn’t move. Her whole body was heavy; she fell to her knees. The world stopped turning before going black.

***

“Olivia, wake up my darling. Wake up.” She froze as soon as she heard the voice. She felt his lips on her face and it made her cringe. Maybe if she just pretended she was still unconscious…

“Wake up!” he exclaimed, slapping her hard across the face.

Olivia opened her eyes, holding back a whimper of pain. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, tasting the iron from the blood.

“There are those pretty brown eyes. Hello there.” David smiled at her, wiping the tear sliding down her cheek. “Don’t cry, love, I'm here to save you.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“Obviously you were kidnapped. It’s all over the news that you and Noah are missing. The police brought me down for all kinds of inappropriate questions, but I didn’t know a thing. All I could tell them was that I was desperate to find my wife and son. Now I've found you. Where’s Noah?”

“I don't know.” Olivia replied.

“Don’t play games with me. Where is my son?”

“I don’t know, David!” she shouted. “You said it yourself, I was kidnapped. I have no idea.”

“Dammit,” he pulled her up from the bed by her hair. She screamed, trying to loosen his grip but was unsuccessful. “You will tell me where to find my son!”

“Then what? Then I’m of no use to you anymore.”

“So that’s what this is about? You're punishing me for what? I made some mistakes and you take away my son.”

“Nice to know that beating your wife and causing her to miscarry is just a mistake in your book.”

“Give me my damn son!”

“I don't know where he is.”

David took a deep breath through his nose, like an angry bull, exhaling out of his mouth before backslapping her. Olivia stumbled but remained on her feet. He did it again with more force. She slid against the wall onto her knees.

“That’s it, David…beat it out of me. That will make you more of a man.”

“William Lewis will not be the terror of your dreams when I'm done with you. I’ll make you wish that he'd killed you a decade ago.”

“You son of a bitch.”

“Perhaps I could just ask your lover,” He replied, grabbing her hard by the shoulder. “Unfortunately dead men don’t talk. So it might be a problem.” David noticed that that got Olivia’s attention. “You want to take a moment to mourn the loss?”

“Fuck off.” She said through clenched teeth. Her chest hurt thinking about Ed taking bullets meant for her. He was dead and it was her fault.

“Who is he? I didn’t even know you had it in you.”

“All I did was love you, David, and you just had to make everything your fairy tale. I wasn’t good enough as myself…our life wasn’t good enough. I tried to make it perfect; it was what I wanted too. That man was not my lover, he was a cop.”

“I don’t give a damn who he was. All I care about is Noah. You will never separate me from my son. I have no qualms about ending your life.”

“Then let me die here.” Olivia laughed and it was almost maniacal. “Just do it; I know you’re more than capable. But you will never see Noah again.”

“I will kill everything you love, even your precious Aunt Liz. I'm looking forward to that.”

He went for her again but this time Olivia was ready. She punched him hard in the kidneys and ran out of the room. Her legs were so heavy; the weight of them nearly sent her tumbling down the stairs. She was only halfway down when David grabbed her and pulled her the rest of the way. It knocked the wind out of her when he body slammed her into the wall by the front door. It probably broke her nose too, if the searing pain and the blood gushing down her face were any indication. His forearm came down on the back of her neck.

“Last chance,” he whispered in her ear. “I don't want to hurt you but I will. Please don’t make me do this. No one will recognize your pretty little face when I am done with it, Olivia. I know you think you have a high threshold for pain. You really have no idea.”

“Do what you have to, David. You can't hurt me anymore and you will not touch my child.”

“I won't stop until I find him. I've got people all over the world with orders to bring him back to me. No one will keep me from my son…I will not let that happen. Do you understand me? I'm only asking to save you from a little bit of pain.” He kissed the nape of her neck. “I love you, after all.”

“Just kill me; I'm sick of listening to you rant and rave.” Olivia grimaced as his hand came down harder on her neck.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” NYPD Sergeant Cole Draper cocked his gun and focused it on Haden.

“You're planning on shooting an unarmed man in the back, Sergeant Draper?” David asked, not even turning around. “Are you surprised that I know who you are? I know oh so many things, like even a cowboy like you wouldn’t do that to a person of interest.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

David grabbed Olivia, turning around to face Cole. Haden used his wife to shield his body. Draper held back his disgust at the sight of Olivia’s bruised and bloody face.

“You're willing to risk your career for this woman? She pretends to be everything you want and then reveals her true self. She already took your partner down; do you want to be next? She stole my son right from under my nose.”

“He killed Ed, Draper.” Olivia told him. “Tucker made me run.”

“Do you see what she made me do? I've never hurt a soul, Sergeant Draper; I just want my child back. She has no right to keep Noah from me. He may not be my seed, but he belongs to me.”

“You think I'm going to let you walk out of here with her as your hostage? You’ve watched way too many Schwarzenegger movies, friend. You followed her all the way across the country…you had to have a reason beyond this.”

“I want my son!” he screamed. “He means everything to me.”

“Let her go and we can talk about that.” Cole replied. “This can be easy or hard; I'm up for it either way.”

“Your pal Sonya Paxton is going to indict me for murder.” David squeezed Olivia’s neck tighter. “My lovely wife’s face has been all over TV. She and my son are missing and presumed dead. Killing her right now would probably be in my favor. They’re going to try to fry me for it whether I'm guilty or innocent. I'm killing two birds with one stone.”

“She’s the only one who can tell you where the boy is.” Cole said.

“I’ll find him. Do you know what I've been through with this woman? I loved her, took care of her, treated her like gold when she was little more than damaged goods. Look what she does to me. She kidnaps our child and fucks the first guy who comes along and pretends to care for her.”

“I was never unfaithful.”

“You shut the hell up! You think I haven’t been watching you? When you were done eye-fucking Tucker, you gave him everything else. You’ve been shacked up in here like lovers since his partner left. Probably fucked in every room of this love nest. I smelled you all over him, Olivia.”

“Let her go, Haden. How long do you think I want to play this game?”

“I don’t need her anyway. She’s been a drain on me since…”

His spiel was interrupted by Olivia’s quick elbow to the chin. David let go of her, stumbling back and cursing. It was so hard for her to get away; she fell when she tried to run. Whatever they shot her with packed a bunch. Her rushing adrenaline was barely enough for a few stumbles

“You're dead to me, Olivia Benson. You are dead!” he came at her with a hunting knife and Draper shot him twice in the shoulder. He flew back against the wall, blood gushing from the wound. Cole’s Glock was still trained on him, but soon David stopped moving. He died with his eyes still gazing at his wife.

“He shot Ed!” Olivia struggled to stand. She stumbled, nearly fell again, but did her best to shake it off. “Ed made me run. There were maybe four of them, he shot one, and some chased me into the woods. I just remember waking up and David was there.”

Cole nodded; his arm was around her and helping her into the den where Tucker was on the couch. Olivia fell down beside him and grabbed hold of his face.

“I thought you were dead. Jesus, what happened?”

“They pumped me full of some kind of tranquilizer, a lot of it. I can only figure they wanted us alive so Haden could enjoy some torture later. We have to get the hell out of here now…I think they rigged the place to explode. He was going to kill us and blow the evidence to hell. We’re working on borrowed time here.”

Draper helped Tucker up and they started toward the side door. Olivia helped as best she could but she was drugged too. It took every ounce of strength she had to keep herself on her feet. They were halfway down the side stairs when she remembered.

“My backpack.”

“To hell with it.” Cole replied.

“I have to have it…it’s all I have left.”

“Benson!” Cole struggled to hold up his partner. Ed at his dead weight was almost impossible to carry.

“Liv!” Tucker cried out as she ran away. At least it looked like she might be running.

“I’ll be back.”

“Go after her Cole. Bring her back.”

“I’ll get you out of here and then go back.”

Tucker protested but Cole threw him over his shoulder and rushed down the steps. His sciatic nerve was going to have something to say about these shenanigans. Opening the back door of the SUV, Draper sat Ed down.

“Don’t worry about me Cole; I'm fine, get Olivia. We didn’t come this far to lose her now”

He nodded and ran back around the corner to the side of the house. Olivia pushed through the door just as the Earth seemed to crack open. Blinded by a ball of fire, Cole flew back. He grunted when Olivia landed practically on top of him.

“Ow.” He moaned. “Goddammit.”

Draper rolled them so that her back was in the dirt. Olivia had a pulse and after a few gentle slaps to her already bruised face, she gasped for air.

“I hope whatever is in that silly bag was worth it.”

“You should be nicer to me. I was almost blown to bits.” She retorted.

“That was your own fault this time, Benson.” He scooped her up into his arms. “I'm taking you both to the hospital.” 

He helped her into the SUV beside Tucker and closed the door. Closing Ed’s door, Draper hopped into the driver’s seat and sped off. There wasn’t a house for at least a mile but the smoke and fire would alert someone soon enough. If the explosion hadn’t already. 

“As if Dodds needed more reason to hand us our asses,” He grumbled. “We got his vacation home blown up.”

“Not our fault.” Tucker whispered. “Hey, you handled those three guys quite nicely.”

“Would you say it was more Nick Fury or Phil Coulson?” Cole asked.

“It was totally, 100% Nick Fury.”

“Yeah, I can live with that. Rest up, buddy, we’ll be at the hospital soon.”

Ed nodded, knowing it was OK to pass out. He really didn’t have much choice anyway. Olivia rested her head on his shoulder, passing out as well. His hand slid over hers as it lay on his lap. 

Cole looked at them in the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes. He would get the two of them the medical attention they needed. That was a bit more important than getting to the bottom of the handholding thing. And that didn’t even touch on Haden saying they were shacked up like lovers. The partners were definitely going to have a conversation soon.

***

Tucker was coming out of the haze. He could hear rain falling hard outside and see the glare of the artificial lighting. Draper sat by his bed eating a bowl of pudding. He grimaced and then tried to sit up, deciding that wasn’t the best idea.

“You're eating my pudding.” Ed whispered. Draper looked up, smiling.

“You don’t even like butterscotch but the nurse said they were out of chocolate. Waste not, want not.”

“What hit me?” he asked. “I feel like I was trampled by buffalo.”

“Nembutal; it's what they used to euthanize cats.”

“Great. Is Liv alright, Cole? She ran back in the house…oh God.”

“She’s fine.” He put his hand on Ed’s arm to keep him lying down. “She took a hit from the blast and she had been given the same sedative as you but she’s going to be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Ed asked.

“Yeah. Her nose is broken and Haden beat her up pretty good but she’s safe and expected to make a full recovery. Dodds is on his way here, along with countless Federal agents that we won't be talking to. He called Judge Donnelly to let him know that Olivia was safe. Everything is alright. Well, we’re alive so let’s count ourselves lucky.”

“What happened to Haden?”

“He’s dead. He said a lot of unsavory things so I shot him. It was like that scene out of Star Trek VI when Chang kept quoting Shakespeare and Bones wants him to shut the hell up.”

“Cole…” Tucker didn’t want to smile but he did.

“He was going to stab her; I did what I had to. Not that I plan to lose a wink of sleep over it either way.” Draper wasn’t too sure about that but it was the right thing to say.

“Did he hurt her?”

“She’s a survivor. She’s going to be alright.”

Ed nodded, trying to relax. He felt dizzy, nauseous, and his body felt weighed down.

“I feel like shit,” He muttered.

“You might for the next few days; it’s a powerful sedative. They were concerned about the amount you were given but you’ll live. They're going to keep you for a few days or so to monitor you.”

“Are you sure Liv is alright, Cole? I shot one of them. I tried to get them all, I wanted to save her, but I just made her run instead. We were ambushed…it’s a miracle that we’re not both dead.”

“No miracle, we’re just the fuckin best is all. Relax, you're not going anywhere for a while. I'm not breaking you out of the hospital like I did in Milwaukee.”

They were quiet for a while; Draper figured Tucker was dozing off. He would hang around for a while longer and then find someplace to crash for the night. There were some hotels n Forsyth close to the hospital. He also needed to check in with Carmen…this had probably hit the NYPD grapevine by now. Paxton would have a bird when she discovered that only dental records would be able to identify her “sure bet” to the Governor’s office.

“We slept together.” Tucker’s voice pierced the silence.

“I'm really proud of you.”

“I'm almost afraid to ask why.”

“I never expected you to tell me something like that. Ten years and I can hardly you get you to open up about anything. You keep things to yourself; from yourself sometimes.”

“I stepped over the line, Cole.” He closed his eyes.

“You're in a hospital bed because you were doing your job. There are always cases where we get too close or in too deep. It reminds us that we’re human. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“It’s a violation…”

“Of absolutely nothing,” Draper replied. “You know the manual by heart…you know that I'm right. Not that some manual means jack shit out here in the real world.”

“That doesn’t mean it should have happened.”

“I won't bother telling you to let it go. If Olivia Benson means something to you, that’s not a crime.”

“I barely know her,” Ed reasoned.

“I'm not the relationship police; I still don’t know how Sandra has put up with me for over 20 years. Don’t ask me for the right answer. You need to rest anyway and I need some real food. Man cannot live on pudding alone. I mean it when I say I don’t want you beating yourself up about it.”

“I won't feel better until I see her and know she’s OK.”

“The doctor might let you walk around in the morning if you sleep tonight. Olivia is right down the hall…call her. Will you be alright while I get dinner?”

Tucker nodded, holding out his fist. Cole smiled and pressed his fist to his partner’s.

“Oh, here’s the answer.” He placed a blinking chip in Ed’s hand. The cop instantly recognized the tracking device.

“Where did you find it?” 

“The inside lining of that goddamn backpack.” Draper replied. “I hate to say I told you so…”

“It came back to bite us in the ass.” Ed mumbled. “Haden must’ve followed her every move even before the marriage slid downhill.”

“I'm thinking that could be part of the reason it did. Get some rest; I’ll be back soon.”

Ed watched as Cole walked out of the room. Something in him wouldn’t allow him to sleep just yet. Soon the pull of unconsciousness would be too strong to fight but for now his mind was on Olivia. The last thing she said to him before all hell broke loose was that she wanted to be able to say everything she needed to say. 

He did as well. It was over now and soon real life would come calling; someone else would need his help. There was not much time for Tucker to do or say anything. Before he dropped back into the blackness, he felt someone take his hand and kiss it. Ed fell asleep with a smile on his face. Whether it was real or a dream he knew it wasn’t Draper.

***

She loved watching him just being a toddler with other toddlers. He swung on the monkey bars, thick black hair falling over his face, without a care in the world. She would do the sign of the cross and pray he didn’t break every bone in his body. He would swing, jump, slide, laugh…his energy never waned. His mother kept a close eye on him but maintained her distance.

Seeing him run and play filled her with joy. Despite some developmental delays, Noah was a sweet, gregarious, and social child. He had large, inquisitive eyes and a fearlessness she had before life taught her there were plenty of things to be afraid of. On a warm Saturday three months after her life was forever changed, Olivia Benson hoped that was one lesson her son never had to learn. 

A man sat down beside her with a large cup of coffee. Olivia looked over, a smile spreading across her face. She didn’t want to smile but there had been times lately when she swore she made Ed Tucker up in her head. They parted ways in the hospital in Forsyth, Montana and that was the last she saw of him. 

He was in the NYPD…it wasn’t as if Liv couldn’t find him. Invading someone’s privacy had never been her style. There had to be another way, she just hadn’t figured it out yet. Looks like Ed was going to fix that. This was a total Cary Grant move.

“Hello,” He said.

“Hi.”

She quickly glanced over at Noah, who was now entertaining himself with a large green ball, before focusing again on Captain Agent Edward Tucker.

“It’s been a while,” she said. “I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye.”

“Judge Donnelly wanted to get you back home, secure, and reunited with Noah before the press barrage. It was quite the circus.”

“I'm still fielding phone calls for interviews; I just decline. I've said all I needed to on the subject of David Haden. How long were you in the hospital?”

“Four days. I was lucky; the barbiturates didn’t cause permanent nerve damage.” Tucker replied. “Draper says it’s because I'm a stubborn old mule.”

“I'm so sorry, Ed. I feel like I'm to blame for some of this.”

“I was doing my job. Dodds gave me a two weeks’ vacation before I ended up in Cleveland on serial bank robberies and then Miami on home invasions. It all originated with gang members out of New York. That’s what we do, chase bad guys who start here and spread their wings or who end here. It’s the NYPD and Feds working together if you can believe it. They send us in for the really dirty stuff that doesn’t make the press conferences.”

“You're still with Draper?” Olivia asked.

“We’re going strong. When I came back to Manhattan, I reached out to Judge Donnelly and she told me how to get in touch with you. I picked up the phone so many times but had no idea what to say.”

“Yeah, that sounds familiar. For me, it was approaching Dodds at every Sunday dinner but being unsure how to ask about you. I didn’t even know if it was my place to ask.”

“I wanted to give you space,” Ed said. “I didn’t want to remind you of a bad time in your life. You told me about the PTSD; I didn’t want to cause you any more stress.”

“I'm working with a program right now that rescues young foreign girls from massage parlors and whorehouses…that’s stressful, Tucker.”

He nodded, sipping his tea.

“So you're back at work?”

“I love my job; I was happy to come back. Manhattan has always been home, for better or worse. I'd never leave here. Well, maybe I’ll venture out to Brooklyn one day for an overpriced brownstone.”

“You don’t want a life of constant adventure and intrigue?” he asked, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“No,” Liv shook her head and laughed. “I want Sunday dinners, trips to the park with Noah, a good book and a glass of wine, bad movies on Lifetime, peace and solitude. I want…”

“I want to see you again.” He cut her off. “I tried to stop thinking about you Liv, I really did, but it hasn’t been working well for me. I don’t know if we have a chance in hell, but I wanna try. Believe me, I get it if that’s not something that interests you. But I would've never forgiven myself if I didn’t see you again, if I didn’t say it.”

Olivia was speechless. She looked away from him and at her son. He seemed to be trying cartwheels, not quite making it, and trying again. Looking at her watch, she knew it was almost time to go.

“Do you like duck, Captain Tucker?”

“I can live with it. I prefer a nice steak, maybe a little Maine lobster on the side.”

“Steak is good. How about a burger and fries?” Liv asked.

“That’s even better.” He smiled.

“Both of our jobs might make planning this harder than the Malta Conference.”

“I'm around for a while…I'm around on Tuesday.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“It’s a long story, can I tell you then?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “So, a burger and fries on Tuesday?”

“We can go to McCabe’s over by Fordham.” Tucker said. 

“I'm not going to a cop dive for a first date, no matter how good the fries are there.” Olivia shook her head. “What about Burger Burger in Morningside Heights?”

“Alright.” he nodded.

“OK.” Her eyes were downcast; Ed put his finger under her chin and tilted them up. Then he kissed her cheek. “I’ll probably be overly cautious and on guard.”

“I don’t believe that.” He said. “I’ll probably hold things back and be too protective of you and Noah at first.”

“I can take care of myself, Tucker, that’s not why I want you in my life. I like your eyes…that’s why I want you in my life.”

“I don’t want the difficult way this relationship began to affect where it could go.”

“So we won't let it.” Olivia stood. “I have to get going. Noah needs lunch and his nap.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ll call you tonight, if that’s alright.”

“OK. Noah! C'mon sweetheart, time to go home for lunch.”

He handed the ball off and ran into his mother’s arms. She smiled as she scooped him up and hugged him.

“How does bologna and cheese sound?” she asked.

“Good.” He nodded. When he smiled, tiny dimple holes poked into his cheeks.

“I want to introduce you to my friend, Ed.”

Noah spoke softly but cuddled in closer to his mother. Ed remembered when his kids used to do that. This little guy couldn’t be more than three; his youngest was 14 going on making him bald.

Tucker smiled, standing up from the bench to shake his hand. He hoped this little boy never had a lasting memory of David Haden. That would be something good that came from all of this.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Noah.”

“What do you say?” Liv asked.

“Why?” He asked.

“Noah isn't as talkative as other kids his age.” She explained laughing. “But a friend of mine taught him the word why recently, to question all authority, and it’s his new thing. We better get going.”

“How are you getting home?” Ed asked.

“We like to walk, and his stroller is right over here.” She put her son back down on the grass. “I guess I should say that I like to walk and Noah likes to ride. He points at all of the dogs we pass, don’t you bud?”

“Doggies.” Noah grinned.

“Be careful.”

“We always are.”

Ed waved, watching Liv push her son across the grass and out of the park. After all the times he thought of calling her but didn’t; Ed had believed he was too late. When she looked back and smiled, it was clear that he wasn’t. Ed Tucker wasn’t lucky or knowledgeable about that kind of thing. He was a workaholic whose wife cheated, lied, and broke his trust. 

Years had gone by and he was still coping with how that made him feel. A lot was about to change for him, independent of Olivia Benson. But the idea that someone new could come into his life and make him feel the way she did in such a short period of time intrigued him. They both deserved the right to know if it was adrenaline or chemistry. Ed thought he might be ready to try again. He might be ready for something real with Olivia.

***


End file.
